Simplicity is for squares!

So you are wrong. Got it. So stop thinkin that way.

And i totally did not lose my phone when i saw that before >.>

Alex don't be a moron.

I still confide in you, i trust you, even if i can't do so as fully and as much as ben, well, he has a six year lead on you. xD But you are still just as important to me as he is. And you help me in ways he never can, he can't ever jog me out of my self pity, and hit me back to logic when i need it. God. So stop thinkin like that. And when i talk to you, its still like before. Same with emily. Same with Ben, whit, everyone. The only one that it is not the same with for me is bren. Just because i can trust ben more does not mean i don't love all of you, don't trust and confide in all of you. Its just he has helped me for seven years. And hell, with you alex, with emily, i have talked to both of you often for what, a year and a half? You guys have helped me more than most anyone in that time. Ben just...How to put it.... He is like my Turk. And you guys are Carla and Elliot. I trust you guys, and love all of you, but he is my chocolate bear.

How to pwn alex.

starlightgal93 (4:19:00 PM): Dude. Here's the thing.
starlightgal93 (4:19:32 PM): I'm stronger than you. Not to mention until most girls I have the ambition to be able to get you into a maid outfit even if that means I have to do it myself P:
Colberoth Norris (4:19:45 PM): I can easily avoid you a week
starlightgal93 (4:19:56 PM): You wouldn't dare P;
starlightgal93 (4:20:06 PM): kihihihi
Colberoth Norris (4:20:40 PM): why not?
starlightgal93 (4:20:56 PM): Cause. You know you can't resist seeing me once I visit -grins-
Colberoth Norris (4:21:15 PM): Yeh.
Colberoth Norris (4:21:17 PM): I can
Colberoth Norris (4:21:20 PM): You forget
Colberoth Norris (4:21:34 PM): i will have bio 2, L4D2, FFXIII, BBS, etc. then
starlightgal93 (4:21:44 PM): We shall see.
Colberoth Norris (4:22:39 PM): Plus you would rather see me as chrome
starlightgal93 (4:22:58 PM): ....No actually I would rather see you as maid
Colberoth Norris (4:23:22 PM): But i wont wear that~
starlightgal93 (4:24:06 PM): You "will" has no effect.
starlightgal93 (4:24:11 PM): Not even your dying.
Colberoth Norris (4:24:23 PM): Its easy to avoid you ya know
Colberoth Norris (4:24:29 PM): or avoid places you could do that
starlightgal93 (4:24:34 PM): I'm not sure if that's a comfort or not
Colberoth Norris (4:24:44 PM): xD
Colberoth Norris (4:25:08 PM): I mean, if i only see you in public places you are screwed
starlightgal93 (4:25:16 PM): true .-.
starlightgal93 (4:25:28 PM): but I'm sure we'll see each other in...non...public places
starlightgal93 (4:25:29 PM): xD
Colberoth Norris (4:25:50 PM): Plus don't you think emily would have a problem with you stripping her boyfriend?
starlightgal93 (4:26:11 PM): Pft it will involve putting you into a maid outfit. I'm sure she'll be helping me.
Colberoth Norris (4:26:41 PM): Actually at the thought of stripping me she would probably say she would help, then come, sit in the back, watch blushing and enjoying herself xDDD
starlightgal93 (4:26:48 PM): ^ that xDD
Colberoth Norris (4:27:16 PM): shed first get herself horny watching me naked hten enjoy the lulz of me in outfit...
Colberoth Norris (4:27:37 PM): But unfortunatly for you. I have....wait for it....building suspense building suspencse....BEN
starlightgal93 (4:27:47 PM): .............................
starlightgal93 (4:28:02 PM): I shall make sure Ben and Taylor are far away when we get you.
starlightgal93 (4:28:04 PM): Until you get in it
starlightgal93 (4:28:09 PM): then they can come
Colberoth Norris (4:28:20 PM): ...you know taylor would probably help you girls xD
starlightgal93 (4:28:38 PM): ..........................So only Ben will avoid being there xD
Colberoth Norris (4:29:00 PM): I will make sure to take him with me anytime i am going where you are
starlightgal93 (4:29:34 PM): pft bodygaurd much?
Colberoth Norris (4:29:54 PM): Well. When you are downright threatening me....yes. Very.
starlightgal93 (4:31:10 PM): >.>
starlightgal93 (4:31:38 PM): wimp.
Colberoth Norris (4:31:47 PM): And that one body guard blocks all your efforts
starlightgal93 (4:32:04 PM): >>>
starlightgal93 (4:32:05 PM): >.>
Colberoth Norris (4:32:13 PM): Especially if something happens to his wow and i blame you
starlightgal93 (4:32:25 PM): .....you wouldn't dare!
Colberoth Norris (4:32:50 PM): Haha. Who is scared of whom now?
starlightgal93 (4:33:33 PM): Um. You are scared of me? -grins- Alex is never scared!
Colberoth Norris (4:33:44 PM): Liar.
starlightgal93 (4:33:53 PM): I know.

God...I really am glad i have ben.

Man. He really is there for me and has my back. God i love him. So the party was supposed to be me, emily, kasha, him. But kasha couldn't come, so i told him to just make it a regular party and not third wheel himself.

He didn't.

Then he kept trying to get it so me and her where alone. So i could have fun. And we could try and fix everything. Get back a bit to how it use to be.

And it worked. Despite all that happened with us alone, even through lust my favorite parts where the small things. The simple things. Just holding her in quite. Neither of us speaking, or the slow, small kisses that had little lust.

Then just holding her as she fell asleep, and it felt really good when she said she did not want me to leave, to stay there and lay with her, and she gave me that beautiful smile...

God i needed that night. Guess fears where wrongly thought of for once....THOUGH FUCK YOU GOD THIS IS ALL BENS DOING.

But god...last night, and now...I was almost in tears. Not from sadness. But just...joy of some sort. God. Ben is by far the closest person in my life. Hell, even when everyone has left me he has stayed. He knows when to bother me, when to leave me be, and can always cheer me up and work with me on everything. And god...I can trust him fully, and i can't remember when i ever even raised back those barriers to him. I can't lie and say i did not do it to whit, alex, emily, jess, everyone, a few times when really depressed, and this is over years. But Ben...god i can't remember ever doing that. God. How long has he been there for me? Six, seven years? Stood by me when how many people left me, destroyed me, ruined me? God...I found a kinda friend you only find once in a lifetime...

I sing...because i am afraid.

Ah, miss Dickinson, how i do adore thee. I too sing because i am afraid. I write trying to dilute fears. Its odd, recently i just have been...really truly scared. About the past. The future. My relationship. My friendships. Life. Death. Everything...its an irrational fear, and i have it nagging, telling me soon everything is gonna turn for the worse...

God i hope i am just being pessimistic and paranoid.

Dear god i don't believe in...If you are anything like what those who believe claim you are like, toss a little help to me and my friends. Can ya?

And due to our closeness, i feel this immaturity is allowed, Alex.

ALEX HAS A BOYFRIEND ALEX HAS A BOYFRIEND AND IS BEING ALL GIRLY LALALALALA BOYFRIEND AND GIRLY~

Uhm, what to report

Nothign happened really...there was something...but i forgot...

So i guess all to say is 13 days~

Oh, and me and Alex totally screwed with that Justin dude~ Twas awesome.