Fuck, messed up today.

Well, it was not bad, per se, Today was actually....fun. But i had a complete forgetting of discipline, actually i have been a lot. today moreso.

I forgot my rubber bands. I stole a tiny tiny bit. (Only once, and it was small, so i am not mad at self)I Bothered laura to much while working, and sorta-flirted i guess, hormones, and past feelings- current feelings- came into play. Ah. Oh well. Either way i still did better than usual. I am getting better.

I will wear brace more, need to work on some hygiene isseus. But over all good.

And it was cool since i had to do nothing today. OGT's rule.

But i still can't call upon feelings, except with male friends... Yeh, sexist, i know, nad i know (as much as i hate it) that a good portion of drive with females was lust and natural innate feelings of wanting in pants. But i iwll probaly be back to normal in a week or so.

And i realized that I get along with Josh, mike, and them easily. Hmm. But it is fun messing around and talking to them.

And I feel good. Content. Though i realize i kinda regressed, that old spark i had with bren, the flair of being two leaders of a huge thing, it is back mroe. Sorta. I just have had fun talking to him like i did years ago.

And i realize i can't enjoy anything as much, or like it. But it still hampers feelings. Take Graceling for instance, i know it has a lot of issues, and i kinda like it, but i am not just enthralled by the book, but i am power reading it. And FFX does not have the spark it use to, maybe i will regain that.

Heh. I guess my life 'as gone to hell. And i like it. No people, no problems.

And i think i have finally given up on the dream of laura wanting me back. Heh. Oh well. 'twas fun. Guess that is all i got. This blog was rambly.