What is wrong with me...I never thought i would lose this...I use to remember things clearly, how i felt, it was like when i was there...Now even five minutes ago in my mind feels surreal and like it didn't happen, like i am seeing a movie in my head...
And i cant do tests or quizzes...I start choking now...I forget everything...I forgot Hear and To Lose in spanish...I forgot words i used ten minutes before...i could barely get 26/50 of words i have been using for fun the last few years...
And even now spanish class seems to be weeks ago...
I now have to study...and even then it is not helping... "To hope for" I read that and went over it 20 times...I forgot it...in 1 minute between setting paper on ground and seeing it...
Hell, i took the practice qui online 5 times and missed questions i had already gotten correctly...
And after i managed 2-3 90%'s i still only got a 75 in parks...
Man...I never thought my memory and test taking would fail me...
I guess it is true, nothing is forever...
but i am so screwed...failing now...
I feel so useless now...So pathetic...so unneeded....so weak...
I just want....what do i want, last year? Old friendships? the past? I don't know...
You know...Maybe i do...I want me back....I want to be myself...Whoever that is...
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