Mind still in turmoil...Realizing how guilty i feel over all this, and how much i love some even though i try to pretened i dont....Realizing some people i have slowly been losing caring for...trying to figure everything out. And i got sick and threw up. So not helping.

I guess i shall have a new resolve. I am saying fuck it to posting how i wont make it, or how i will, etc. etc. etc. I am only human, and going through...whatever the fuck this is. I really dont know. Instead i will just live. Yeah, shitsux, and yeah, some things are amazing, but ill get through it in the end, this whole thing is me being a melodramatic ass...

i'm sorry...

Guess i should eat and sleep, hopefully i am not actually getting sick. That would not be fun.