You what is utterly terrifying about this. Unlike most recent bitching where I say it here, and it is now the blog, not me, and I can lose it... This is something I am not forgetting... God.

If I continue down this path alone, well.... I think I am killing myself. I will. Maybe not physically, but in the essence of who I am...I'm not sure which would be worse.

But can I even convince self to ask for help? Or accept any that comes? Or will I wear that same damn fake smile I always do.

Heh. I feel so spiteful at this point.

I want to curse you, you fucking lying bitch. but a this point, I still don't know who I am cursing...

So if you think you deserve me saying that to you, for any reason, go to hell