Anne rice, you think of me as a vampire.

It is almost strange how much I relate to the Vampires of Anne Rice's novels. They are detached from the world, barely caring, only affected by a few things. Pale (haha, inside joke), They are intelligent, and many times they have no idea about what they believe about anything at all. And they don't register things as quickly since time is irrelevant to them.

Honestly I am getting a bit worried again, I am just detached on some things. Stuff is just not sinking in, I mean, Me nad Laura have been dating almost a month or two, and I am head first in Like for her, but being Called her boyfriend or her my Girlfriend, it just doesn't register to me and sound strange.

And honestly, nowadays, I can't do opinions at all, I barely can look at something that logic can easily apply to, and blow logic to the wind and just randomly say, 'for no good reason I think this or like this." I always have to logically look at it. Although, nowadays Emotionally I am looking at things. But I can't do opinions. I have no feelings about Right, Wrong, Good, Bad, and so on, It is all Cost-Benefit, even with human nature, I can look at the whole of it and find logical reasons why someone would do this, and find the next event in the set relatively well. That is why I can tell so much about people by studying them.

But so many things, I just can't comprehend them, or empathize with them, Religion I understand, but can't relate to well. Death, the past, Politics especially (really it is almost all biases and opinions), Abortion issues, all that stuff.

And here is the scary thing, the things that I have mentioned before, most of the time, most of life, I just can't care or feel, it makes me feel so, inhuman.

And my overblown obsession with Laura is cooling down, so I can clear my head and think logically when concerning her.

And my story, it is becoming more and more prominent in my mind, I need to write it.

And I think I have found out a semi-logical why I can't enjoy games and such (besides I rather be online and talk to people), new things aren't interesting me since I can't associate with them, get surprised by them, or reminisce with them. I have a good skill at remembering past feeling when engaging in an event from the past, so say i hate something now but use to enjoy it I can remember the joy, so when I was playing things like Paper Mario I was able to connect to my childhood, Brawl to melee, and so on.

Honestly, I am need to get my mom tp let me join Academic club. There I can go and be with people for one reason, without differences ruining my thoughts. Without me being an oddity making me feel horrid. And I feel, well, alive at those kinds of things. And because, honestly, despite what I say, when I am insulted, made fun of, or emotionally hit hard, I take it hard, and to prevent the pain I am easily swayed, changed and I go with the flow and conform a bit, or kill off feelings.

well, Anne, you are a great writer, and your stories seem to be for me.