fuck this.

Not allowed to go to tourney for 2 weeks. God damnit. Yugioh is something i need. Beats dealin with people. I know what to expect and how it will work. Rather than dealing with people who change every five minutes. And will go from "oh i want this and like this lets do this" to "Lol fuck no" and gettin on my case. God. I hate the instability of dealin with people. I hate tryng so hard for one thing with people and failing, i hate all this shit at times. With yugioh i can understnad why, with people i got no idea nad feel like crap when i shouldn't. Ugh. Next two weeks are gonna suck.

uhm

*waves hand* This is not the blog you're looking for

Well.

Bored. No one is really online. Everyone is at band or school. I finished most everything i was workin on. BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

*reads*

Ansem retort rules, good find alex.

My blog

feels alone and abandoned. All his blog friends have died. He mourns them.

but lets see, today i felt like shit, told mom, she didnt care, told her i felt really bad still on bus, she said i should have told her i was that sick -_- Felt crappy but kick schools ass today, then got a kiss at the end of the day and that made all the shitty feelings go away. Haha. I really dunno why, endorphines or something, but those small things like kissin and holdin cause such elation. Haha.

Must make good deck...

new format...must figure out deck...

SKHGAKSHDSHSAJHASDFGAgh

WHERE IS THE NEW SOUL EATER CHAPTERS DAMNIT

ugggghhhhhhhh

So today was going great. Then after sixth my meds left. and i feel like crap. Ugh. They are evil like that. Nap imminent...

And one piece was depressing again...Stop being good and depressing. D:<

AND HOLY FUCKING PLOT TWIST BATMAN. *fans over reborn* Damn this is a chapter. Alex. I call all the new stuff.

Wow, today is good.

Me and ben both having really good days today...

Fuck. Get to the bomb shelters.

And on book 5 of dresden. One of my favorites. Shiro is in it~ /totally didnt base my shiro on that shiro

Another valentines day over. Thank the lord.

Eh. I know, i am in love, and what not. But valentines day is just...ugh. Whether i have a girlfriend or not its always been too forced, stupid, and just eh. Hallmark rules it....damn hallmark...I mean i show how i feel and everything often, why should i view a random date on the calender as something different. And hallmark...is just the ruler of it, evil thing...Then half the people with dates just never shut the hell up about it to the point even i am annoyed. Single people get depressed about not having them, not that they don't have their whole life left...And then hallmark is making more money D:< DEATH TO HALLMARK

Random story part 2:

This is way before other part. But still a fun fun part:

"Bow down and praise me children, bow down and praise me!" Sosun exclaims as he kicks open the door to walk into the room of sleep deprived teens, all of which look at him with groggy angry looks.

"Damnit old man, it is eight in the morning on a saturday, people should not be up at eight in the morning on a saturday, and you want my praise?" Maro says with a glare.

"For once i agree with him." Shiro adds.

"Quiet mere mortals." Sosun says to the boys, and slams two large bags on the table in the center of the room with a loud thud, "Ye doubters shall be the last to partake in the feast if you keep this up."

Maro quirks and eyebrow and questions, "Feast?"

Then as his question is uttered sosun reveals a dozen donuts, and two 6-packs of rootbeer.

Maro jumps up hands in the air, "Praise the man he has brought a feast of the kings!"

Lanna rolls her eyes and walks over to the table, grabbing a donut and bottle, "God you guys are so immature"

Kanna glances at his sibling and laughs, "Who needs to be tucked in every night, and still has a teddy bear?"

Lanna glares at her brother as a small red tint covers her face, "Quiet you."

Selena jumps up and grabs a donut eagerly, "Sosun, I love you."

Felix and Arc each grab a donut quickly and their own pops and give agreement with their mouths filled.

"And now the final part. Something i have yet to show anyone but maro and Shiro." Sosun says, then hits a button on the wall. And as he does a giant film screen pops down, and a cabinet opens revealing a game system, loaded up and projecting onto the film screen, "Today. We play!"

Selena and Aurora look at the screen then each other, then instantly they both say, "We call first turn."

"Me too." Shiro says nonchalantly as Sosun hands him and the girls controllers.

"I get first as is owners right." Sosun tells them.

For the next hour the group experiences nothing but joy and simple fun, hanging with friends on a weekend. Peace and laughter filling the room, along with a few threats and trash talk during the gaming. Sadly, no peace is everlasting.

This peace ended once Felix and Maro tried to grab the final donut at once. The two boys eyes' meet with challenge and anger filling them, small scowls covering their faces.

"It is my donut." Maro states simply.

"Hell no." The other boy retorts.

"I got it first."

"look. Lets just be fair, cut it in half and share."

"It will be a cold cold day in hell when i give away any part of the last donut."

"Maro, lets think about this, you have had six donuts already."

"Point?"

"There are only thirteen donuts in the box."

"Still don't get what you are saying."

"I have only had two donuts."

"And the point is...?"

"It would be fair, kind, and rational, for you to let me have it since i have had less than you."

"Over my dead body."

Without glancing up from his book Shiro adds into the argument, "I can help with that if need be."

"Your threats don't scare me little boy," Maro says, then backs away as the younger child looks at him coldly, and he amends his statement by adding, "Much."

Felix looks at Maro, "Come on lets be reasonable about this."

"Never."

Then as the two boys are busy arguing they don't see another hand grab the donut and bite into it, then Sosun says, "You guys shoulda just took it and ate it."

The two boys glare at the owner of the house and walk off angrily, while the rest of the group laughs at them.

Thus soon the peace returns, and for a little while and so the group holds onto their peace and enjoys their day, for in this world they all know there is one simple rule to obey. The rule which is the only mandate, and the only required thing. That rule you ask? Simple. Enjoy the little things.

oOh. Blog. Yeh...

Uhm, pwning tactics, raping bioshock (on easy >.>) and nothing interesting happening. felt shitty todya, may be gettin sick. Was gonna write another part of story, but got lazy.

Bio 2,

Bio 2.
12.
Bio 2.
So soon.
Skipping tomorrow.
So soon. AHHHHHHHHH

Random report.

Hrm. So I am sorta trying to patch things up with bren, but the more i try, the more i see his blogs...The more i know its just us both tolerating and faking. Everything is gone now. Oh well. Sometimes fakin is better than nothing.

And i had a dream that really was odd last night. I woke up on a shore all KHy like, then i went through bars and found myself at the football stadium. Except it was more supped up and better. I was confused as hell. And i saw people from my school except older. Soon i found out it was 4 years later. I had aged, i think. But i then found emily...who refused to give me a hug, told me she didn't like me, and barely talked. I think she was with taylor then. And life went to hell as i realized i had been lost in time, missed games, events, people, lost my friendships and love...it was really odd. and really hurt...I felt horrible from it. God. That dream somehow really hit some fear i never realized...

Had good day at league. God. That place is amazing, forget pains, worries, just fun, hang with friends, joke, play, goof off. Enjoy ourselves, forget everything. I love it, a lot.

Hating that when evreyone seemed up life seems to be crashing.

Trying to not get depressed for two more days.

Falling to money hell.

Finding that i just cant feel lust recently...

Hating that emotions can control me

Oh. ZOMBIELAND IS KICKASS.

Mom is pissed to the point of barely speaking. It is scary.

Uhm, guess that is all.

TV

TV FOR BIO 2 TV YAY

Nothing to report really.

Nothin at all...

Crashiiiiiiiin

Uhm. Meds leaving system, tehy where on overdrive today, now i am crashing... maybe that is why i suck at homework, my meds don't last...

In a creative mood.

So random story part since i have wanted to write this:

Shiro walks into the small room. Looking at the cluttered desk, the nameplate with "sosun" scratched off and replaced with Maro's own name. His eyes drifting over the once organized papers, the newly added stains, the chipped edges of the once perfect desk. Silently he chuckles, amazed at how much one small area can change in two weeks, and how it can fit so perfectly and seem so natural in that same time frame. Then he sighs as he also realizes how much he missed the sight for two weeks, and how much the change does hurt.

Finally his eyes lock with the eyes of the new owner. Without fear or hesitation he greets his friend, or what he hopes is still is his friend, then sets his bookbag on a chair, "So Maro, ready to talk, or not?"

"If you have come to apologize and try to get back here you are failing. If you have come to annoy me it won't matter, and you should leave." Maro says coldly, giving Shiro a level and indifferent stare.

"God damn it Maro. Shut the hell up. I won't tell you i am sorry. You know i would be insincere, and you and i both find those words petty and powerless. You know I did what i had to, and that if i had not we all would have died." Shiro exclaims angrily, not from anger to his friend, but at the situation, and at himself. Then he moves his hand from behind his back, and slams a six pack of rootbeer bottles on the desk, and adds, "But i should not have lied all these years."

"Not everyone made it either way..." Maro whispers, his words trailing off as his eyes drift towards the portrait of his mentor, his friend, his father that now hangs on the wall, bearing resemblance to the gangster and mafia movies that he enjoys.

Then he looks at the bottles, and gets one for himself and Shiro, they each pop the caps off and clank their bottles together in a ritualistic fashion before they silent down the bottles, "Show the apology through action eh?" He questions rhetorically, "I have to admit, you are doing pretty damn good on getting back in my favor."

Shiro lets out a small smile, "So can we please stop this? Everyone wants me back, i want back, and we both know this is not over."

Maro sighs, letting his face fall into his hands, the tips of his fingers touching, while his forefinger and thumb are in an L shape, his thumbs along the bridge of his nose and his head resting against his hands. After a few moments he looks up and quietly tells his friend, "I don't know. I really have no idea. What you did meritted all of my actions. And now that i am leader...I have to take care of everyone, i am in charge, i can't just let you back based on emotions, i have to worry about our future."

Snarling in disgust Shiro slams his bottle down onto the table with enough force to send spiderweb cracks through it, "Shut the fuck up, and stop acting like i did this to you." He says, "Then stop acting like this has changed you. Stop talking so idiotically. You are not the Maro we all knew, and not the one who had to become the leader. Worrying about the future? Fretting pointlessly over the past? Snap out of this shit."

"Who the hell are you to yell at me. I am not the traitor! I am not the one who abandoned us, I am not the one who made this all happen..." Maro yells back in rage, standing up and slamming his hands on the desk, then two tears roll down his eyes quietly as he slinks back into the chair, "I'm just the one who cost Sosun his life."

" 'Forget the past it can't be changed, don't worry about the future until it comes, don't try and find or question god unless you are ready to meet him, that is my creed, that is my life' What happened to that? What happened to who i knew. You were not this affected at the funeral, why the sudden shell shock?" Shiro says to him cruelly, "Also don't think you can fool me, i know you have been drinking. And seriously. Not just the have a few at parties like you have done for years."

"So what, who cares what i do with my life, its mine to use! I shouldn't even have it!" Maro exclaims, then buries his face in his hands, "God, you want to know what happened, i saw him leave as the funeral ended, i saw his ghost, i saw him go. And it clicked two days later. I killed my father."

"Shut the hell up. Do you honestly think i am not hurt, he was mine too, and Kanna is just as hurt, we are all in the same boat. Not to mention he was actually Kanna's uncle, do you know how bad it hurt Kanna to find family and have it torn away in minutes? You are not the only one in pain. So suck it up," Shiro all but shouts at Maro, pulling a small folder out of his bookbag and slamming it down on the desk.

"What is that?" Maro grumbles almost inaudibly, as he opens another bottle of rootbeer and begins drinking it.

"Sosun's medical report." Shiro says with a small, sad, sigh, "He was gonna die either way. He had cancer. Terminal."

Maro casually meets eyes with Shiro, "So he knew he was going to die?"

"Yes. So he gave his life to you. Sent me this info, told me to choose you, because you are the only one who could lead this group of rag-tag mishaps."

"What can i do besides get us killed?"

"Maro just listen to yourself, who led us in that battle, who fought on terms with our enemy before he even found his magic, who convinced us all to freak out the girls in their sleep over?" Shiro questions insistently, then his face softens, "Who has always been able to make me smile even when i was not supposed to feel, who has been my friend when i was supposed to be alone?"

"Damn it Shiro, I can't do this, I can't, you would be better, or Kanna. Everyone of this little group originally was his friend and not ours,"

"Maro, listen to yourself. You already have assimilated to this position perfectly, are planning perfectly, and acting as the boss in every way," Shiro says, then looks around noting a few aesthetic changes, especially the portrait of Sosun, "Although some of those ways are taking a bit too much from those movies you watch."

"Hey, this place is awesome looking," Maro says, a jovial smile on his face, as he stands up and stretches, walking over to Shiro with a smile. Then he finish his bottle and throws it into the trash can and laughs, "Thanks, I needed that, i guess i have been being an idiot haven't i?"

The younger child laughs and just answers, "What else is new?"

Maro playfully punches him, "Be careful or you are out of her again,"

Shiro's eyes light up, as he smiles, and the boys high five and lock hands, "You know, i was not lying Boss, you are the only one who could do this."

"Boss? I could get use to that, I need to make that a mandated title for me." He says to Shiro, as both boys crack a smile, then all that is heard from the room is pure, unadulterated laughter and joy. Something the room had lost in weeks past, but had found again.

I've got a feelin

tonights gonna be a good good night~ God, i love this song, addicting, stuck in head, my new pick me up song...

Uhm. Nothng much happening.

8 days.

Happy 10 months us.

8 days.

Hrm.