Such elation.

God, christmas, new years, all this, i love it, i take all the emotion, it flows through me, it is an indescribable ectasy. I love it. Happy new year all. Lets make this decade kick some serious ass.

Me and louies new year resolution: Do something as epic as jecht.

I won't do too much. But a happy new years.

So. A crapload happened. I lost friends, and i refound them. All those friends i was just friends with, i became close to. Lost it with other friends. Hell, i learned love, learned hate, learned depression, quit trying and left it to fate. Lost my friend, regained them in the end. Came to love a new daughter/niece/wife, and i found the love of my life. BEcame a better person, became a worse person, learned to control myself, and lost all control. Became best friend with those i hated, learned to love them, and feel elated. Had my ups, had my downs. Saw many smiles, and just as many frowns. tried and make amends, especially with lost friends.

God so much happened. I loved it all. I hated it too. But i was there with all of you. Heh. You all know how i feel, you know what i think, so i am not doing one of the big explanations on everyone. I let you all know often. But i thank you all, i have found great friends in you. So here is to another year, and i hope i find friends in you still, all of you, and know that all of you, every single one, will find a friend in me.

Take this! My love, my hate, and all of my sorrow!

Actually. don't. I have been thinking a lot recently. So many things reminding me about trying to lose memories. Forget pain. And i realized, I have found something i truly fear. And it is losing those memories, the pain, the hate, the rage, the love, the joy, the lust, the sorrow, the deceit, the everything. It has shaped me so much. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger...It takes me a while. But i push past this all and i become stronger. No. I become more adept, i learn not to be serious. I grow. Learn those mistakes, learn the successes. If i gave up, quit, forgot it all, then i would not have the love of Emily. I would not be friends, and the closest friends, with Alex. I would not have my amazingly wonderful and badass daughter. If i didn't just try, if i didn't wish for old memories, if i just quit then laura would never have started hanging with our friends again after she left. I would never have fallen in love, and had that love lost, i would never have felt that hate, and never repaired it to a great friendship again. If i never made that small push to talk to miguel i would not be friends with him. If i didn't push to get to know that quiet kid i would not have ben as a friend. If i didn't push over and over to get to know those three girls who were freaked out by me i would never know molly, or jess, or Emily.

How can i ever consider giving up or forgetting these memories! How can i be anything but thankful for everything, even the bad. From it all i have become a good person. God damnit i have worked hard, i have changed so much in the years, i have found love, beauty, and everything, i have gained control i thought stupid years ago, i gained morals, i learned caution and empathy, i learned to feel! These emotions, these experiences, if anything, I want more. I want to feel so much more, i want to have my life crafted more. I want the diversity and amazingness.

And with this said. I can't give up on my old friends. Clint, Bren, Scott, they are still available. I can salvage them. God damnit I won't quit, even if it is small jokes, occasionally asking pointless questions, just trying to be a friend. I won't give up. and i will help Alex, and Louie, and all my friends. With this thought, i have found my serenity, my peace, my balance, my nirvana, i can keep it. I can try and spread it.

*concedes* I love you daughter~

I realized it from your realization

>.>

I have come to the realization. Harley Quinn is always hot.

http://images2.fanpop.com/images/photos/7300000/Harley-Quinn-in-Arkham-Asylum-Videogame-batman-7340341-1024-768.gif

Playing the demo made me realize she was creepily hot. Which intrugies and disturbs me. *looks down there* What the fuck is up with you stupid organ. I don't understand you.

Yes. I made a whole blog for this purpose. Hey. Good break from depression/post depression blogs eh?

carpe diem...

when did i forget that. go with the flow. that is what i need. hell. all relationshis, all of everything has its stumbles and doubts. emily and alex, time, it will fix those. me and alex are better, and i refuse to believe me and em can goo all the way to hell so easily and quick. Breathe. i am happy. i know control. give it time and those relationships will fix themselves. Calm. i love them. and hell i still love bren even. i just have to keep my cool. not push too hard, not be spiteful. go with the flow, let time heal all wounds. laura, alex, emily, are getting better each day. they can be healed...maybe even me and bren... but its obvious he does not care for me.oh well.

Breathe in, breathe out.

I need to calm. I need to stop lashing out, saying the wrong thing, and doing all this stupid shit. I need to stop the sabotage. Calm myself. Use meditation of old. I need to gain control over my emotions and stop leting them use me. Stop letting them rampantly control me. I need to block them, control them. I had that brilliant apathy and distance, i can regain and use that to calm myself. I have dealt with worse. I need to stop letting everyone elses crap make me paranoid and make me paranoid and overreact. In a week or so everything will be noraml and good. I know this. I wont let emotions fuck me over. I have control of them. Breathe in. Breathe out. Clear mind. Life will be fine.

delicious irony

its the most wonderful time of the year, everythings failing, friendships are fading, romance is waning, sanity is failing, depressions are coming, oh for all its the most wonderful time of the year

onward to depression.

lets see. bren hates me. alex and i seem less close and as if it is unrepairable. my rrelationship seems to be going to hell and i can see all the signs of me getting dumped there. i feel as if everything i do is wrong. oh and i now am paranoid and feel like i am slipping back to my sabootage everything state as a defense. i also can tell i am starting to seal away emotions, causing me to overdo everything to prevent that from happening. i feel like everyone is gone and i cant talk to them at all. i feel abandoned. i gave everyone gifts and the only one to thank me was whitney. hell i think she thanked me for emily's gift when emily did not. oh. grades are slipping when i felt good about them. and i feel sick. and everyone expects me to open up to them whhen they wont do it for me. heh. its taking a lot to keep self out of depression...aint christmas a grand time.

I've got a lot to say. Honestly. But won't say too much.

Bren. I will address you first. So i can keep the balls to do this. Since i refuse to be a coward. Okay. I don't know if you even read this. But here. I still love you, you still have my interest, even if i despise you at this moment. A lot. But I refuse to take back anything i said. I refuse to pretend i was wrong. Because if you have a sense of logic, you will know i had a right to say it. But here. I will leave this to you, because we know i would try to fix all this shit if i had any shred of possiblity. But if you want to keep our friendship, in any way, hell, any friendship with any of us, here is the simple way. Something we would all adhere to with ease. Just talk to us. Nothing big. It is quite easy. Talk as if none of this happened. Just be our friend again. We can act as if it didn't. Who cares. But if you want to be our friend do it. And even if you don't want to be with alex, or you don't want any closeness like you and i had, don't try for that, but stay our friend. And God damnit. I know, i know that you still feel for alex in someway, and emily, and the others, at least as friends, your showing subtle signs i know how to pick up, even if you and others don't. So be their friend. Please. I don't care if you be a bitch to me, treat me like shit, because i know you hate me, even if you don't realize it, i will take that, but don't torture the others and yourself. They all want to be your friend, and you want to be theirs. And if the cost is me giving up the friendship i once had, so be it.

To whitney: I could tell you a lot, cause dear god, i have talked about that so much over the years. But i will be short and sweet. You know how i feel, you know you can always come to me.

To myself:

God...Today i realized how bad i have it for emily...When did i start trying to make taylor move so i can sit by the girl, rather than him make me? When did it go that i was actually sad, and hating being somewhere, when i thought the girl was not going to be there. God. When emily and the band people came to the show...I felt great seeing her. What happened to me... Heh. I am so whipped...

And i realized something today. Which i forgot. Oops. It was some big introspective thing...hehe >.>

Uhm. I super wrapped emily's gift. whole wrapping paper tube, then i super taped >.>

And dear god. New reborn chapter is sexy. Though Ghost...PUT CLOTHES ON MAN.

So i went to one piece to cheer up...

NOW I AM MORE DEPRESSED D: AWESOME PEOPLE WHY D:

Not diggin this day at all.

Bah. So Whit and JEnni got in fight with Destiny, it really killed seeing them so...broke. So i hugged them, and kissed their forehead, barely spoke, just tried to make them feel better. And i realized, i treat them like i do my cousins to a degree, xD that is how i console my cousins, hug them, kiss their head (though with some i do that because they are adorable or it pisses them off xD) and just tell them kind words. Wow. I really would be like a good dad/uncle person...

Then math i had a quiz, when no other period did. And they got to play games -_- And i have not understood this chapter. So i failed.

Barely escaped showing vocab in social studies. Did a quick memorization five minutes before. Hopefully i did good, i really really need to up my grade to exempt.

Then i need talent show ticket. Dunno if i still can get. and half my friends are goin to the study hall or some band thing. So i feel alone all ready. Which really sucks. Wanted to hang with everyone since i barely see them, especially em. Bah.

Dunno if i am going to tays cause family is seeing avatar.

Really just want to hang with Whit, Em, Kasha, Ben, and Tay, all the others too. But them a lot. Dunno why so specific, well, Whit and Em its obvious, same with others. I guess.

I now have realized that somehow kasha became one of my closest friends recently, like heading to level of Alex/Whit/Em/Ben/Tay.

Bah i just feel really shitty and sad right now...Not even in a way that makes sense. Specially since i was on top of the world. I wo- I KNOW WHY. I always get like this when i have school the last few days before a break. Ah ha. I will sleep later. Sleep always helps...

No one will read one piece T_T Still sad about that.

Oh. We had to dance in Spanish. I really didn't. I kinda wanted to, but also just liked watching... I bet if i was just with friends i would have but oh well.

BAH. I just want this week over. It sucks -_-

And did i mention i have no rootbeer -_- God. I really hate this day.

I REMEMEBERED

OFFICIAL ACTUALL HAPPY JAPAN FFXIII RELEASE

uhm. Uhm.

I had something cool to say. But forgot.

So all that happened was that i scared both kasha and quiet girl. Epic win.

Thanks for the remindeder Katzy~

New chapter of Soul eater was fucking brilliant. We must talk about it, cause i am confused xD

And to all who care. I made a sexy Lego plane, it is awesome looking. I need a terrorist lego person. MUHAHAHAHA

Lack of title, don't take it too hard, somethin. Dunno, fail title.

Let me get one thing straight. Alex. I was, and still am slightly pissed, but i really don't blame you, and i am not gonna let this ruin our whole fuckign friendship. If it is gonna get ruined, that is up to you. But i still love you, and don't think for one second i would let one SMALL mistake ruin everything.

Emily. I realized this most deeply last night, so sorry for not opening up. But in all honesty i never realize this crap till i am typin. And half of what i type is just an outlet to get it out of me. And i just had an old spot hit, and the old stuff, i really just don't talk about with anyone, since i have almost gotten past it all. A lot of it is thanks to you. I love you, a lot, and you have helped me so much with everything. Thank you.

Bren...Well. I have nothing to say to you. Everything i said. You fucking deserved it. You deserved every word, every bit of sadness any normal human would feel. But like hell you feel it i bet. Heh. Kinda ironic. Early on me and alex have been struggling to come to terms with our humanity, and now at least we can admit we feel. At least we can talk about how we feel, but what about you? No one around here knows you at all. You are just a small little machine, hell, cleverbot is easier to talk to, learn about, and half the time show personality. Heh. I feel a little bad for alex and emily. But for you, i feel no compassion. I have had this same scene play out so often, guess what, you are the one actor in these scenes that never changes, and gets lost. Good luck with life, you will need it.

And Katzy, well. Actually. Thanks. Haha. I don't blame you for most anythin, not talkin to me often, or anything like that. I won't lie and say we are the godliest friends ever, but you are fun to talk to, and a good friend. And you can always make me smile. Haha.

But to everyone. I refuse to apologize. Bren deserved everythign i said. Alex, i was a jackass, but it needed to be said so we can stay friends and keep on growing as friends, if we left all these issues alone it will end badly, i have seen it happen. And to everyone, i did direct a lot of stuff at you, and some was in anger, but it was all stuff i deserve to say. Because i will not change for anyone, will not bend for anyone. Heh. I did this for Bren, for Clint, for laura, for scott, hell. I won't go down that road again. And everything i said i was in the right to say. I won't say not to take it personally, though some should not, but don't think any of that applys just to alex, or just to em, or ben, or Whit, because it all has applied to everyone i know. And it is who i am. And i won't change for others. I was born alone, will die alone, and cherish the connections with others, but in the end i am with me, shaping me, building me, so i wont change myself for others. I love you all (bren exception) though, in a non-romantic way (Emily exception), and i do hope i did not cause too much pain. But i deserve to have said all i did. And only one who should be really hurt and take it all incredibly personally is Bren. The rest of you, just don't try and ruin my values, and shrug the rest off as mostly angry rant.

And in other news, i felt really crappy today >.> Need to catch up on sleep and food xD school will be a bitch catching up...

And in other news working on christmas gifts today~ Someone give me whitneys shirt size...

And i need to get Oh Well, Two Hears Beat, I won't Apologize, LDN, Smiles, and Bourgeois Shangri-la as mp3s....

also, a day late but.... HAPPY JAPAN RELEASE OF FFXIII *parties*

Or it is in two days... FALSE ALARM

I had an amazing day yesterday, but something clicked, and i am about to break...

Here. Before i cuss half of this out. Lets get some good.

I went to the Regionals, jolly good fun even when i got my ass kicked. I came to get really close to connan. Got stuff i needed and had fun.

And i jumped on ben, he just continued walking as i dragged behind. It hurt. whitney did a jump hug, first time hurt us both, second time was a success.

Now here is the rest:

Here is what i realized yesterday that killed me, horribly. I was letting myself get close to someone. And now. After all this shit i am in a ton of pain. I am not bothering to text or talk to anyone. Sitting on aim for them to talk to, but not going out of my way. And honestly i want to cry. But guess the fuck what all of you, guess what. I am holding to those promises i made to myself. I am changing. I am not letting my pain, and all of that harm me to the point where i hurt others, i am not burdening others to the point that it does nothing but harm them. I am keeping the balance. I am becoming a better person. I am keeping all of my fucking promises i have made and chronicled, even if half of you haven't and can't. And even if i want to cry so badly at the moment, i refuse. Never again will i shed a tear over something like this.

Here, lets give you your own part, a big part. Because i have wanted to address this for so long. But you know what, i wanted to try and succeede just personally doing it, because you know, i have changed a lot of things without addressing the problems specifically, working in small steps. But last week i was pushed over the edge. Cept i got no time to do anything and really confront you. Not that it would matter since you don't even talk to me anymore. Bren.

Who the fuck do you honestly think you are. Honestly? Here, what was it you said? "Do you think brandon would block me?" Honestly you ask that? You use to be my best friend, you use to know me, you use to know my past and you ask this shit? and notice i say "use to", because now i doubt it a lot. But here let me give you a big big big big big refresher on why i can easily block you in an instant. Clint. Remember him? I use to talk about him a lot. Talked to me when he felt like it, nad only then. Treated me like crap, used me, ignored me often, only reason i spoke to him was due to our past and a small wanting to make our frienship work again, while i am struggling with a growing hatred. Hey, sounds familiar.

Guess what bren, in all honesty i fucking hate your guts. Do you notice i have made one or two jokes at most with you in the weeks you have been back, tied emily to random things what, once? Well guess the fuck what, Clint, Blake, Scott, Laura, Laura greenawalt, Raj, Cory, so many others, they have all burned me, burned me really fucking bad. Do you think that "Oh hey i disappear like 4 months then come back, love me again?" is gonna happen. Hell. I was one of your best friends, you even said me, phil, and louie where your best friends. And guess what, only two of those three you talked to these past months. Heh. I was finally getting happy, but still having some issues, especially with not having any really close friends. And you abandoned me, do you think i would shrug it off and anything would be the fucking same, really? Hell, i am giving you a small bit of our past, adn trying to recover this frinedship to the small bit that i recovered with Laura Sooy and Clint, but it will never be like before. And all we had is gone. The Gods, the tieing, all that shit. You left me when i really needed a friend, you left me and then talked to phil and louie when i was supposedly one of your best friends. Like we can ever be close.

Oh. And don't think i don't realize that you blame me for all this shit. God i know you do. But just come out and say it. Oh wait. You won't cause i have to send fifteen damn messages to get one. Heh. You obviously hate alex, and you had a convo long enough to think she sent you to the ignore and get really pissed at each other, yet i can't get you to talk at all. You are a grade A douche bag. Oh and you know how close i was to you, i would time nad time again bend myself, break my morals, and change, without a moments notice, or even a thought. Do you know how fuckign lucky you really are, you had a friend who would forgo everything thta he was, his entire essence, and do anything he could to help you, do you know how rare a friend like that is? Well, if you didn't before, you don't know now. Heh. I hope you know how pathetic and small you are. And how you won't harm me ever again. And trust me, fuck up or act out a little more, be as malicious as last week, i will ignore you in an instant.

Oh. And alex, stop being a fucking bitch about this. I encouraged bren with a joke. Yeh fucking right. I never make a joke of encouragement. My jokes are small ways to try and stop something. And be pissed at me for a lot of things, i can't blame you. But know this. God damnit know this well. I love you a lot. You are my closest friend, but i have a few fucking morals i won't fucking budge on. And one of them is i won't take sides when both are at fault. And Guess what, bren may have been worse all these months, and if you start an argument there you have me, but last week both of you took the offensive instantly, bren was not the only one to attack, you did too. And then you get pissed because i did not side with you, and i stayed out of it because i was a coward, well, the others may not have done anything, and honestly they where being cowards. But for me, louie and phil, but mostly me, think past your own fucking universe. I have known bren for what, 4, 5 years? Same with them. And we have known you only a year or two. And i will speak only for myself, since i have not talked to them. But i have been dealing with my views on bren, and i still am friends to a good degree, even if he is pushing it a lot. And with you, i hated you, and had an awful past for half out time knowing each other. Do you honestly think it will be super easy to go either way against two of my best friends in all of my life, really? God, why not have me try and choose between Atheism adn Christianity too. But god, know this. You both attacked. You where not the holiest there, nor the evilist. And know this, god know it well or i will forget you like i am now forgetting bren each day. Actually. Everyone know this.

I will not bend myself for any of you. I will not choose between any of you. Do not try and make me choose, do not try to make me something else. If i promise Ben i am hanging with him i won't blow him off for anyone, not even Em or Daughter. If i promise i won't tell something i won't. And if someone is doing something wrong or misguided i will go against them. Even with my loves such as whit, or em, or you know, alex. No exceptions.

Oh, and before you try to accuse me of something alex. Do you know how i have defended you so many times, against phil, against em, against everyone. I fought to the death cause i know how you felt. God. And you bitch me out because i refuse to choose and bend my morals, you know, i realize it sucks a lot, and i really can't feel much anger, nothing compared to what i type right now, but try and think to how i feel, i have lost too many friends, i lost bren. And then you, my closest non-daughter, non-ro/bro-mance friend, go and bitch at me when i have been trying so hard to help you, side with you, and make things better fro you. And you act as if you shouldn't even talk to me over this, yeh, making it seem as if i am losing another friend... you know, thanks a lot, great way to repay me after you have said i helped a ton this last month. Thanks a lot.

Also. To all of you. Not just them. I have heard almost all of you have talked about me behind my back. If you guys have issues. Fucking tell me to myself. I am a big boy, and i have solved so much when people actually fucking talk. So none of you call me a fucking coward. Cause you know what, at least if i am annoyed with you i will say it here. Or try to talk to you. But guess what, i can handle anything any of you say.

And honestly. Everyone. I am sorry. But i am giving up for a little bit. I know it is hypocritical. But i need a break. I am done trying to help everyone on everything, i try and do this, and almost always you guys bite me in the ass. Emily, tell louie not to go to me unless it is really bad, and apologize for me. But i have finally found happiness. A real happiness. And after 3 or 4 years of constant depression and greif trying to solve everything, and be a pillar is breaking me, and i want to preserve this damn happiness. And it is fucking greedy, but guess what. All of you have done it, despite what all of you say. You have all forgone others chance at happiness to preserve yours, and tried to not lose your happiness. Alex, emily, whit, bren, jess, everyone. and you know what, you all have talked about how you deserve it after hells and trials. Well guess what. 4 years, numerous suicide attempts, oh god so damn many, and many of thousands of times where i almost killed myself with surefire ways, well. If i have to forgo helping others, and i have to be selfish so i can hold onto my damned happiness i have wanted and needed so long, then i will. Cause guess what. If i crack once more i won't be posting a "i almost did it" Like alex has (which i can't blame, the ideas are so romantic in a dark way), or like i use to. I can guarentee this will be all i have to say, "I can't take it. I am going with a permanant way. Be it cutting wrists, or a shot to the head. But i am done" And it will end that day. So i am sorry to all. But i am keeping my happiness. My life.

And since you all need to know this, you all make so many promises like i do, but you all keep to so few, and by god don't say i don't. Look at mine, i cuss a good bit less, i am making way less jokes, i am caring about feelings, and trying to watch my words, and respect others ideas, i am doing so much i never did. I fucking changed over these years, i became fucking human. Now how about you, no, how about the whole fucking world grows up. and i hope somehow some of you fucking get better through the end of all of this. I hope you all find happiness, and the balance that has taken many years, and almost taken my life, to find. and i hope you guys can find happiness, and like i do look beyond the outer of everything, beyond the pain, and find the good with every bad. Cause guess what.

I would not change one thing. Not the pain of getting my heartbroken, the pain of losing any friends, or of this. None. Goodbye. Good night.

Mirror force finally came

after 3 months -_-

And not true poppet

it was

*called back*

Me: yo
You:hey
*random small talk while i try to figure hidden motive of you actually calling back*
You: Heh, i am such an idiot *mumbled*
Me: *confused, getting base idea but not why it is being said now*
You: I don't know, well i do, but don't wanna talk about it.
Me:Okay...
*more random gabbing for like half an hour, and some small talking of evil ploys*

And nothing happened today really...

...Two more songs to my addictive listening >.>

Oh well by fleetwood mac and Two Hearts Beat by U2 are added to my list, along with lily Allens "its not me its you" album. And Smiles, and LDN from her too. >.>

And Poppet, you never said thank you~ You just said "i'm an idiot" and avoided talkin about it poppet. But how you said it conveyed all that you meant, but i won't say you're welcome. It seems so...Final and pointless if i do. And i know you will be here, and be my friend, for a long time to come. And you know that if you need help, or to talk i am always here. And don't think for an instant i don't understand, or won't have gone through it, cause trust me poppet, i have, i still am at times. And i can help you through the hell. I am a constant visitor there, and i have gone through and back often. And even if you can't, cause by god i know it is painful to consider, to act on, to try, remember that i am here for ya, remember that i know how it feels, and even when you are pushing people away, and irrationally hate people for trying to get to you when it is what you want, that i know how you feel, and i, no, all of your friends are still here for ya in the end. And your my best non-bromantic-romantic-daughter friend, and i love ya~

And woot excuse to make a non lazy blog. xD

Le sigh.

so nothing happened today. Did pathetically simple tests. Oh well, it was actually really relaxing.

And Demonic winds make Emily sadistic.

Finding myself bored and sad without alex.

And i am obsessed with Lily Allen. It is unhealthy... I love her so much though D: She is hot, she is insane, she is british, she can sing great, she can dance amazingly, and is british! She is pure win.

Ugggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I have to go to career center and take a stupid test to tell me what i am good at -_- While missing a day of tests i will have to make up -_- And missing math. And other shit. This is all so stupid. -_-.

And there was a mroe challenging project given to us in comp sci. I think i got it down. My design pwned it. Oh yeh.

Hrm.

Finished Codex last week. Great series. A must read. Codex Alera, jim Butcher.

Urhm. KAsha replaced by a new girl. Like emily was.

Been obsessive about lily allen.

Hating how much of life is going. Worried bout shit. Yet over-ecstatic.

Might go to Regs on sunday...Dear god i hope so...

Urhm. REading 13 reasons why, its okay. Not the second coming of christ as everyone has made it out to be. Though super short. The average page is like a 5th a normal book page. Or i read outrageous books. *thinks about Atlas* okay probably second. But i have read bout hour nad a half and am halfway through.

Uhm. Bored. Not much to do.

Hating how i know everything some people are going through, and i went through it, but still can't help.

Hating Daughter beign sick D:

Nomming saint nick candy. And uhm, nuthin else

Story time story time~

So far:

go The sun was slowly setting down as a car pulled up in front of the Meowzorz’s Mansion. Right before it grinded to a stop, a rather loud stop, a man threw open the side of the door and rolled out of the side onto the ground. Landing in a crouch with a gun out and his jacket flapping behind him he looks around and shoots off three consecutive rounds. Then not twenty seconds later his head jerks forward as a “thwap” sound is heard and another man stands behind him saying, “You moron, stop going for those “awesome entrances” and stop wasting bullets. My god they cost quite a bit, and money doesn’t grow on trees.”
“But they are made from trees!” counters the man on the ground. As he puts his gun into a small hoister in his jacket, and gives a grin that naturally inspires anger.
The second man then twitches, and says, “Fine, no more root beer, or chocolate cigarettes for a week.” He says, as the first man’s face turns to utter despair, and water starts welling in his eyes, “You need a break anyways; seriously, I think I am getting second hand diabetes.”
“My eating habits are not that bad Brenjamin!” The man says as he stands up, and pulls out a chocolate cigarette which he puts in his mouth.
“They gave 1/10th of what you ate to a hummingbird. It went into a diabetic coma.” Bren says, “Brandon, that is very bad.”
“Oh please,” Brandon says, “I eat a lot each day.”
“No, this is 1/10th of what you ate in 42 minutes.” Bren tells him.
Brandon frowns and just says, “Oh. Damn. Maybe you do have a point…”
Bren rolls his eyes then says, “I always do. Now come on.” He says.
As Bren begins a walk towards the front door of the mansion, Brandon catches up and starts walking backwards, looking at his partner and asking, “So what is the case this time. Cause after the last incident, I figure I should learn this stuff.”
“You mean where you told a woman whose daughter ran away that you found the murderer?” Bren asks as he gives a small grin.
Brandon points at Bren then exclaims, “So sue me, I confused our ‘what is killing the rats’ and ‘runaway daughter’ cases. It was all solved when I mentioned it was a cat that killed and ate the victim!”
Bren sighs as his head falls into his hand, “No, that made it worse.”
Brandon looks at him and tilts his head to the left, “Oh yeh, well it was all better when we mentioned the victim was a rat.”
“No, that made her think your were insulting her daughter. It was better when I put you in a corner for the night, gave her the location of her daughter, and explained your mistake,” Bren says with a sigh.
“That was mean, seriously, I am too old for time outs.” Brandon tells him angrily.
“Whatever,” Bren says, then a mischievous smile appears on his face, “Oh, and have a nice trip Brandon.”
“Wha-“ Brandon starts to say at his foot lands on a sleek rock when he take a step backward and he slips and then falls into a fish pond, “That was an awful joke Bren!“
Bren looks down at his fallen comrade then starts laughing, after a few moments of his laughter –and Brandon glaring- he offers a hand to Brandon. Brandon then takes it, and pulls himself up, then notices a small hint of evil in Bren’s eyes as he is still off balance, and feels his hand become empty as he falls into the pond again. He looks up to see Bren holding his stomach while bend over laughing.
After the laughing subdues Bren offers his hand again, which Brandon takes. Brandon then quickly pulls at Bren’s arm trying to pull him in, but Bren angles his pull so that Brandon lands in the grass, “Dammit. Jackass.” Brandon murmurs, causing Bren to laugh some more.
Brandon stands up and faces Bren, then says, “I will get you. Just wait.”
“Sure you wi-“ Bren starts to say, and is then interrupted by Brandon putting his foot against Bren’s chest and pushing him backwards into the fish pond.
“FOR REVENGE” Brandon yells as a war cry.
“Would you god damn fucking sons of bitches shut the fuck up, while we wait for the damn detectives assholes! And get off our lawn!” A girl yells as she looks out at the two men, then when she sees Bren she points and yells “YOU!”
Bren looks up at her and then stands up wide eyed and disturbed, “YOU!” he yells pointing at her.
Brandon then looks at her, “You,” He says, as he looks at her outfit and points towards her, “Are in a french maid outfit, which might I say is quite hot.”
Not even three minutes after the first girl started yelling a second one comes out, meekly peeking past the open door towards the strangers, then looking up at her fellow French maid and asking, “Alex, what is wrong…”
“Emily! Kick those damn perverts out of here!” Alex yells at her fellow maid, while still glaring at Bren, “We especially don’t want that douche bag here when the detectives come here!”
Emily looks up at Alex then says in a fearful voice, “Alex…Those are the detectives”
Alex looks at Emily, then at her hand pointing at Bren, then at Bren himself, then at Brandon, “NANI!?!?!” She yells as Brandon does a small wave, and Bren continues to eye her cautiously, “You mean…the detectives…are these horrible hobos?!?!?! I imagined them…suave and cool, and so bishonen like…
“How can that douche be a detective though?!?! That murderer!” She yells again pushing her finger as far forward towards Bren as she can, pure anger in her every pore.
Brandon looks at Bren, then at Alex, then he quickly runs to the car and returns holding a tub of popcorn, “Juicy drama now.” He says excitedly and points forward like a movie producer.
Alex looks towards Brandon and glares, then looks back towards Bren, “You killed my pet tiger Killer!” She yells and jabs her finger towards him again, “And then you took advantage of me while we were drunk!”
Brandon looks at bren then says, “Wait, that fucker has murder and sex on me, come on, I am supposed to be the immoral one!”
Bren looks at alex then yells back, “Your ‘killer’ was a freaking tiger and tried to kill me! It was self defense! And you’re the one who cut off my pinky toes!” Then he shivers, “And you’re the one who jumped me when we were drunk and dragged me to that bedroom!”
Brandon looks at Alex then jumps up and points, “SO YOU ARE WHY HE NEVER ACCEPTS MY ENGRAVED PINKY TOE RINGS EACH YEAR!”
Emily looks hesitantly at Brandon, “Engrave…pinky toe rings?” She asks bewildered, “Do they really make those?”
“Yes, yes they do,” Brandon says enthusiastically, “If you know who to bribe, and where to look.”
“They do, he has given me upwards of fifty pairs over the years,” Bren says unenthusiastically, never looking away from the one who took his toes from him.


Update one:

“Actually it was more like 53-and-a-half pairs” Brandon muses, “But who is counting?”
“Apparently you are…” Emily murmers.
“NO NOISE FROM THE PEANUT GALLERY!” Brandon yells pointing at Emily, then looks at his friend, “I guess I will now have to get engraved pinky rings…and I can get myself a pair, matching pinky rings with our names on them!”
“Why God? What did I do to deserve this!” Bren asks, pleading with the sky, attempting –and failing—to gain some form of mercy from whatever deities may rule it.
Emily then looks around, and meekly murmurs, “Where did Alex go, and what is that noise in the distance?”
Brandon looks at the girl, “I dunno, I haven’t seen her in like 20 minutes…” he says then looks in the direction of his car, and hears screaming, “uh…”
“WHITNEY, NO, BRAKE, NOT SPEED UP, NO. STOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP” is heard resounding through the courtyard, mixing with the sound of an overworked car engine. And within a minute a car is sighted heading straight towards the two detectives’ car, going at a good seventy miles an hour.

Update dos:

Bren looks at the scene with disgust and fear as the two cars collide, and flames begin to cover both of them, “OH GOD NOT MY BABY!”
Brandon just excitedly looks at the spectacle and yells in joy, “DAUGHTER!” then begins to run in the direction of the crash.
“Whitney get your ass out of the car! This is bad!” Yells a tall girl of about 5 foot 8 as she makes her way out of the fiery wreck. Her bright pink hair trapped under her, as she pulls herself out a window, and her long hair falls to its natural position at her waist, and small strands of her natural black hair show under the light of the growing fire. And she then wipes off all the dust and other stuff that has gotten on her clothes, and spends most of the time getting it off of her large double H breasts. She then looks to see her cohort Whitney already out of the car, and running towards Brandon.
As the two meet in the middle in front of the inferno that was the two cars, they embrace lovingly and start spinning in a circle, never separating. As the two cars explode and fly upwards behind them, landing in two separate parts of the mansion.
“FATHER” Whitney yells.
“DAUGHTER!” Brandon exclaims, as tears of joy begin running down both of their faces.
“Father!”
Daughter!”
“Father!”
Daughter!”
“Father!”
Daughter!”
“Father!”
Daughter!”
“Father!”
Daughter!”
“Father!”
Daughter!”
“Father!”
Daughter!”
“Father!”
Daughter!”

Update 3:

Then the two are pulled apart, Molly holding Whitney’s collar, and Bren holding Brandon’s. As the party-poopers glare at each other, and say at the exact same time, “No associating with the enemy!”
Emily blinks, then rubs her eyes, then exclaims, “What the fuck is going on here?!?” Her meekness and shyness getting replaced by pure confusion, “How are they father and daughter? And Who are these two new people. And….What is that girl wearing?” She asks looking at molly.
Molly looks at her, “What do you mean?” She asks, while she wears dark, black, knee high boots. And fish net covers her upper thighs and arms. Then right above the fishnet is a super short, dark, black, mini-skirt barely going past her panties. Which one could logically question the existence of such a thing. Then everyone gets a view of her exposed stomach, and her bellybutton, which happens to be pierced, while she wears a tube top with, “Your bitch! Right here!” Written on it. On her neck is a very tight cat collar, and her lips have dark red lipstick on them, along with a piercing on the bottom lip. And when she opens her mouth a tongue piercing is noticeable too.

Urgh

Neck is hurting right now, and it hurts to breathe.

load of nothing happened today...

uhm. Yeh. Nothing...

Have an urge to write a death scene from random story in my head...

I gots my dna~

So went to greene county career center, basically a super version of school, where you really specilize in something, and realized how amazing it would be for me, and that i want to go so bad. But i miss all of regular school if i do. Away from idiots. But also from friends...i probably will do it. It gets collage credits and scholarships and everything...And i need to start paying attention to that. Hrm. What to do.

And uhm. Got my DNA its awesome.

Life goes on...

So the world spins
Faster and faster
No one wins
As lies we master

life goes on
Life goes on.

So we learn true pain
we grow and we change
cherished memories we gain
how long it takes may range

Life goes on
Life goes on

Old Frienships are lost
in the space of time
And so those old memories are tossed
Only a forgotten line

Life goes on
Life goes on

Finding new loves
as our emotions grow
And with the flight of doves
old feelings i come to know

life goes on
life goes on

do i risk it all
or hide away
do i chance another fall
or hope for a better day

life goes on
life goes on

if we all are to die
fade away at times late
why shall we try
shall we give it to fate

Life goes on
Life goes on

To stay in this place
and harm my friends
to avoid their face
i may miss my chance at amends

life goes on
life goes on

embarrassing wants call to me
tiny lights of hope
acting as a saving rope
trying to drag me from hate and apathy

life goes on
life goes on

Where do i belong
how am i too be
whose good can i see
what ideals are my song?

Life goes on
life goes on

don't give up
don't give in
if you do you won't win
life is yours in a cup

life goes on
life goes on

live for here and now
forget what was owned by some
don't ask what is to come
forget about the "why" and"how"

life goes on
life goes on

we are all forgotten
left to the barren earth
it is are final hearth
as what is left turns rotten

life goes on
life goes on

but we rest with those we knew
with all of those who we lost
for the happiness given pain was the cost
and you find your wishes true

life goes on
life goes on

when you're gone
life goes on

life goes on
forever and ever

past this dawn
life goes on

Nothin much

Finished Codex alera. Great series.

Hrm. Uhm. Oh, snuck up behind Tay and Em, and when htey mentioned my name tay looked at me, then said nothing, and i grabbed both of their shoulders and went "Speak of the Devil" Making emily jump. IT was funny.

And i got a 104 on the math test i thougth i failed 0.o what the fuck life?

Very short/

Got my book, on 297/465

New season of scrubs on tonight. Though it seems like it is gonna fail...

Oh, and if I snipe emily and wish her happy nth month anniversary she gets mad. Quite amusing xD