Heh... guess i still am not past everything. so weak... i am so damn weak. and i have pushed everyone i know away so they dont even want me to complain to them, let alone me wanting to talk to them. so here i am talking to myself about everything, and in the end...what scares me most? how alone i feel, and how i dont even want to be wtih someone. I honestly dont want romance. yet...i do. confused? same. i....i....i just...what the hell i dont fucking know. I like my job and friends i guesss, yet i am to the point where romance annoys me, and i think it makes no sense, i am having fun as a single person, all that stuff. yet romance talk and everything annoys me rigth now. probably the insane amount that has to be surronding me all the fucking time. i get no break...and i feel happy for you all, i really do. but hell, i cant even escape my dreams torturing me about it...

god i feel exactly like lewis black...only laura will understand that though...but man...I empathize with that book so much...

and dreams...fucking dreams...that fucking dream girl...i love her...