New guilt and comics to put me in some strange perspective that hopefully lasts. And pizza.

Always pizza.

But you know. I feel like shit, but wotn go into why now...well mentioned it to alex, but that is only person i will break my code and talk to it about.

Also, on alex, why is it for some reason unless i specifically mention her by name, or ben, or kelly, i just naturally exempt her from anything i say here? In my mind. Specially directing things to lots of people. Odd.

Back on subject. You know, I've been broken and sad, but the true depressing part of all this shit, even with my mind fuck...Hell, i lost the one thing i always kept some grasp on, some idiotic, pointless, stupid, cliched, grasp on. No matter how it went, even through my cynicalness and pessimism, I kept it.

Hope.

I mean, it is why i am developing a connection to saint walker, and the blue lantern corps (one of hope) (Also Blackest night rules) and liked the oath a ton.

But you know. I can make my own damn hope. Even in blackest night. Sure, shit sucks, but i have been through worse.

There is scrubs. There is rootbeer. There is tengen toppa and One piece. There is alex, and ben, and tay, and everyone.

What the hell was i thinking all this time ?