I am just delving deeper into anger, but now, now it is apathy. You know. I seem to have lost all connections to everyone, but i dont give a flying fuck anymore. Heh. I dont tell you guys my problems, you urge me to tell you all. I try and talk, rarely can I get an answer or even an ear to listen to me. Hell. Out of the what, ten people who have told me "if you ever need help talk to me" I am pretty sure Alex is the only damn one in past like, 6 months to talk or listen to me. Maybe lee and kasha. Heh. But you now the only damn person i can get to talk to me in any way is kasha. Hell, even Jeremy who use to be harder to get not to text me than to get to text me does not text me anymore.

But you know, fuck it, i guess, in the end. Like usual, mostly due to my own actions, I am falling back on myself and being alone. And my only escape is once again yugioh and yugioh friends.

Oh wait, that is wrong and cruel isnt it. Oh the fuck well. Half of you are sick of me or giving up on me. Or at least i know i am. And in the end half of my relationships are going to hell. Heck, aside from kasha molly is the only person i have had an actual conversation with in the last two weeks.

And in the end, it comes back to that same fundamental depressing fact. I am always on the outside, even in groups. Dont try fucking with me and saying i am not, cause lets face it. I always end up the odd man out, either by circumstance or my own accord. I feel unwanted, invasive, and like i dont belong almost all the damn time.

So basically...If you want to talk to me, i dont care, toss me a text or something. But otherwise. I quit. I am done trying. I am done.