Man. Recently i have been gettin more annoyed with life. I though it went away. But i am growin uninterested more. Feeling worse about what i do...feeling like i am falling back to things i hated about myself. And i am sick of what i am. Sick of people. Sick of myself. Feeling myself fall against all i stand for. Feeling all my words become superficial acts of drama that i cant back. My emotions have been fading often... Ugh. I feel physically sick. This day aint helping. Essay is stupid. I need gurren movie to download...I hate myself. I hate my demons. Ugh. I hate that all these things i plan keep failing. i hate that i keep messing everything up. I hate that i keep going against the fact athat i know i should not hope for things, because i keep hoping, even though i know they will and then getting more hurt. Ugh. And i have no reason to be so hard on myself or so down. And i cant find any caring outside of books. Even with Whit yesterday. I felt really out of it, not wanting to be there, awkward, alone. I don't know why...
Oh. And i hate windows 7. A lot. It instills a lot a of rage in me. And essays do too.
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