You know the drill...

Damnit, deleted again, have to retype, again.

I wonder, do people change a ton in relationships because of the relationship, or do I just instill something in them? I mean, I wrote in Laura’s agenda today, “Laura loves Brandon, wants in his pants, etc.” and she did not deny it all. And she has called me Sexy. She thinks I am attractive. She adores kissing me, and likes making out, and told me she wants to go as far as hands under clothes. She also said she would want to wrestle. I don’t know if all this is true but I will assume it is since she has no reason to lie to me. And this whole this is strange since she was barely willing to do kissing a few weeks ago. Now I have no doubt that if we were alone she would happily spend thirty minutes holding my hand resting her head on my shoulder, and doing nothing else whatsoever. She would happily make out with me, kiss me, and such stuff like that. And half of the things she says she would do she detested no more than a month-and-a-half ago. Now she seems to have a romantic-perversion, not that I am complaining, it is a welcomed thing. And honestly, now, I really don't doubt that by this time next year, if not earlier, we could be in love, and not just deep infatuation. I hope for this, even if I slightly fear this, and sometimes wonder whether or not I don't love her already. Probably not, it is not realistic. But I am falling more and more for her.

Jess had the same thing happen, everything she said would take me like five years to get to, I got in about two months. She grew attached and perverse. Now was it because of me, or because of being in a romance? Or just because she liked the feelings it gave? Maybe i will ask one. Probably not. But hmm, would Jess do the stuff she did with me with another guy in the same amount of time, or would it take longer?

And Laura has let Lust to add itself to Emotions and Logics epic battle. Now because of how far she said she would go Lust keeps whispering to take advantage of it, that we are still going slow, she is the one setting the pace, and that it still works with my current thoughts and is out of purely romantic want. Logic luckily interupts telling me that it is not pure romantic want, that I need to keep it slow, and that I should wait. Although I will probably do a bit of both, and If we are alone and it seems like she is willing slowly approach it, probably during a make-out (which i can keep as a romantic urge, not a sexual one)and see how she acts, and if she seems fine and says so, to just slowly do it, let her grow use to it. And try it, not instantly shove my hand up her shirt to grab her breast or what not. And if she isn't ready or isn't able to keep willing to it and falls short on what she says (which happens quite often) then abort. Or if my body trys to become to lustual abort it.

And let me see, I really need to do more than talk about her, god, hopefully this whole over-excited period dulls down so she doesen't invade all my thoughts all the time, so I don't yearn for her kiss all the time,don't wish to be alone with her every moment I can. Hopefully I can keep the giddy satisfaction while dulling the clingy urge to always talk, which is happening I believe, since I managed to go the morning without caring to much she was not there. I wonder how much of these kinds of thougths she shares though, heh, I wonder how much she thinks of me and such, maybe one day I will ask. I might, since these kinds of things we are open about.

And no school on friday. Hopefully I can have a sleepover with Scott this week, seems like no. Sadly. And maybe some day I can go to the greene with friends, or at least hang out with Laura sometime this week.

And should do homework, I will make sure I get it done soon, so that I can keep grades up and hang out with Laura more. And other friends. Heh, Lady luck, you have been pretty nice recently, help me out this week? Give me some luck, give me those good equations, give me some time with Laura, scott, you know, that stuff, I mean honestly, you do sorta owe me, the whole time with Wakely and such, you seriously do owe me from that whole shitfest.

P.A.-

Laura Sooy- A new common customer, yup yup. I caught her glancing at me, and she smiled in my direction (although it could have been at teachers and Blake since they where that way) but then caught my eye, held a smile, as did I, for a few moments, then quickly glanced diagnolly averting her gaze, semi embaressed, I do think she would rekindle our friendship. Her dad does say she speaks highly of me, and if she did, we could hang out a bit since we live next door. And I would not mind having another friend I could trust...


E/M- God, these two are quite close. They know how each other thinks, and when I saw them Kiss this morning, in an lmost movie like fashion time seemed to slow and they seemed to be the only ones there, and I could have easily seen Morgan wrap her arms around his neck, and them both kiss more passionatly. They are natural and fluid together. I hope my relationship will be like theirs. Natural, serene, peaceful, interesting.

Well, that is really all I got, pretty much, so yeh... if anyone wants to comment, feel free to, It lets me see something someone thinks, and lets me know somehow someone reads this...since...well...the fucking view counter counts no one....Gaia will be shanked one day...