Heh...god i really am horrible. I dont care about anyone do i...I say love, i try to talk...Hell i barely try. I use to text everyone, but now i barely do. I gave up. On so much...I am really just hiding, staying to myself. Everyone is expandable. they are people. Nothing to me...heh, i have just been trying to fool myself into caring havent i...

Or do i still care...and just fear? God. I dont know...

Yet i still am hiding...Still more alone than ever...God...I dont care....

about myself...about anyone else...

I am still just hiding...

I still hate myself...

Nothing is changing. God. I never change. I am so damn pathetic. Why do i bother. I should just leave everyone alone, that would make everything easier.

Heh. God. So pathetic.

And even with all this...Ill still pretend to care...still pretend every bit, deny it every time someone asks me what is wrong...Try so hard to convince everyone else, no, myself, that i feel...That i am a human...Not the little monster...

And then it will crash as i realize it was still a ruse.

And god. Portal 2 talk is annoying the shit out of me. Portal in general. It has been getting overdone on my geek sites. Turrets annoy me. Cake ingredients are fucking retarded. Glados is not that amusing, the gameplay is only good thing. The rest sucks. Yeah. I said it. I only like the gameplay of portal. I hate everything else. Even glados. Even the cake. Yeah. I fucking went there.

Go to hell everything. Just so it can be me attacking you all. So you can be mad at me. Cause guess what, you should be. I sure am...

Whatever. I dont know what in the hell i was hoping to do with this blog, it is not even making me feel better. But I cant even fucking talk to alex or ben or shawn anymore, so this place is the only fucking place i can trust. Because i guess it is not fucking real.

Heh. I cant wait to escape this town somehow. Then i can just disappear. Ill probbaly lose touch with everyone...oh well.

I really wish i moved.