God dammit dammit dammit dammit. I wish i was on meds now...at least i would not feel...escape with feeling nothing...
God, why should I care if Rachel keeps making bitchy or stupid comments at me, these snide insults over nothing...I should just ignore it and not care...But i feel so god awful...
And I just feel like I spent the day messing up, lying to myself...faking it...
I am about to cry...why....
And I have option to work, and cant even bring myself to do it. And feel awful, especially since I like work dammit. And feel like a fucking idiot letting whitney paint the moustache on, even if it is great and was fun, all because it would interfere if i did choose to go...
What is wrong with me...God I hate this...
First ten minutes out of the break, and I am nearly crying. Over nothing. For who knows what reasons.
No wonder I cant fix things with anyone eh. No wonder...
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