Interesting

Man, have some suspicions but no idea whats happening. Oh well, what happens is what happens. I'm not gonna have any confidence shaken.

But I need to cool it down. I'm at the point were i am pushing the limits and really insulting or hurting people, need to calm self. I am overdoing arrogance and douchebaggery and all that to try and convince self of me being...well, whatever i choose to be. Cool it ya, you can be reasonably confident and all that, know the limits, find them. Calm yourself...

And fucking hell. Eat. You know how bad your meds are if you dont. God. Dammit.

You are honestly killing and seriously harming yourself.

Hmm, something else i meant to mention...

I need to find something for myself, something i can truly aspire and want. Even programming bores me a bit. I wish i was better at my job, so i could move up a bit...

I've been getting way too alpha male hormonal, not in lust, but like in physical activity. I haven't been doing much...but I want to start actually working out, I wanna fight, I wanna do something. Its so odd on it.

And you know. I hate that I have completely ingrained myself with stupid habits I picked up from my childhood watching TV. I need to drop stupid running gags i try to have or make, they become insulting or crappy. I need to drop my love and wants of catchphrases and all that kinda stuff. Sadly not awesome if you are not a character in a show. That sucks a ton. D:

But man, I am really pumped right now, meds are soaring through me, holy shit. I feel so awake, but so emotionless, whilst feeling hurt and happy and sad and nothing and uncaring and i want to walk and run and do everything and fly and who knows...

I feel sick and healthy and great....

Even my typing is showing the oddness. Wierd and late as fuck.