Its so interesting how something I was so interested in, in love with, was truly a fad. Hell. Barely genuine caring, more me trying to fit in. Yet now...I care so little. Anime positively bores me. Most manga too. Yet I use to adore it so much.

I guess my past romance with Emily fits there too.

Oh my so cruel of me. Saying I no longer care about the person who hates me and such. If you are judging me for saying this, fuck off, im returning the sentiment, and as she is justified to hate me I am justified to feel the same. But honestly, I don't hate. I just don't care.

Though I'd lie if I said it didn't lean to hate at times.

But it leans to love too.

Old feelings are never quite forgotten.

Though I do respect quite a few things of her.

But you know, giving up and acknowledging that I do not give a damn...its freed me. Im so happy recently. And feel like I can move on with out making myself feel blame and guilt over everything ever just seeing Emily..

And finally I feel like this is mine again.


I have control. Sense. Will. Happiness. A purpose.



And you know, to anyone who thinks im being horrible. Yeah. I sort of am. But I don't regret it. This is mine. And now I have confidence again to say so and stand up for myself.

So honestly. Life. COME AT ME BRO