Not because of anything from yesterday, troubles, or anything like that. I will blog bout that mind you. But because i am really out of it today, reading too much dresden, unable to think, feeling almost slurred and in a stupor.
And laura Sooy really noticed it, kept commenting on how i seem off and she hoped i felt better. Haha, she was quite worried, makes me smile. Guess bits of past can be recovered.
And us boys are down a point. I talked to taylor. And he has no idea what the hell i was talking about. Said he never said that, only heard it once, and it was not me. Adn has not really thought of it since. Then we thought about it, and aside from our usually insults, most of the stuff i have said, actually, most all of it, was kind or helpful. I have wished him luck on his, hoped it gets far, hope he gets action, and does not end up hurt. And the only real advice thusfar i have given him is to not do big gifts, and honestly, all of that was cause i like Tay, and he is a good friend. I really do want all that. And if anything there is bad...well, then maria is being just as horrible as me >.< since she has so far done all that. Then stuff that is typically frowned upon such as hitching along on dates she has done.
But in conclusion. Me and him are both confused as hell. And, i hope he or soemone else can diffuse tensions between me adn maria. Cause it is taking a lot of patience and such to resist bursting on her. If i try to even talk seh interrupts me. Adn if i try to explain something her response is "I am not gonna sit here and be bitched out" It is annoying. She did that on tuesday too. She was saying how tay should room with her, I was then suggesting her room with me, and was going to say have the other females like whit and emily and molly and whoelse and what not room with her. Then i take tay and mike and ben. But it went basically:
"tay you should room with us"
"If my parents can go he can room with me and we..."
"No i want him with us so we can split the cost mroe."
"I know but if he rooms with me we"
*repeat twice or thrice mroe.*
"listen, if tay rooms with me..."
"Screw this. I am not gonna stand here and get btiched out"
This has happened like 5 times. I have been said to bitch her out for anything. and she is having much fun turning everything about taylor and laura to an insult about me and laura from past.
and that is also annoying. People getting on my case about them. Damnit, seriously. I. Don't. Care. That. They. Are. Dating. Whoever is reading this, if you think i am jealous to a bad degree, beyond me and tay (and male kinds) jealous because they have it and we don't jealousy, think again. If you think i am trying to sabotage it, then so is maria. And i would kinda think so are they. Because i bet they wish they will stay together, and taylor wants to get some action, and guess what, that is all i have said >.< Really. Why am i the bad guy for this. I want tay to be happy, he is probably my best friend. Tad above scotty and bren, mainly since bren aint here and i barely see scott.
And when i think about it. Yesterdays experience was...off. I mean the whole event. Laura usually would have been relativly calm about it, she would have asked, and when i said i did not do anything, adn if i did i did not mean to, she would have said "okay" and such, and that would have been it. But she seemed angrier than usual, i mean like anger i have seen only once or twice. She seemed protective and worried, and then took small shots at me for no reason. And told me not to be a douche to him...she never acts liek that. So either she is really really fallen bad for tay. Which i actually would like, it brings a small smile, since i do like them, htey fit. Adn it would mean she is going and feeling a little mroe and showing it. Now the other idea i don't like. It could mean something else was wrong. She has done that kinda thing to me before when other parts of life where wrong for her. And i bet i have done it to her. We both do it at times without realizing because of how alike we can be >.< I really hope it is the former.
Or i could be over looking this, or it could have been hormones, or something i did not think of.
And the saddest thing here. I really debated on countering her douche comment with "Don't hurt him" cause honestly. He is getting too much of a short end of the stick. And i was dumped once, felt really big once, and it hurt like hell. He has been dumped way mroe than me. And he seems to feel a lot more than me, hell he does. Specially since i try to kill my feelings. But damnit, i want him to get a win. And i don't want him hurt again. And i swear to god this better not be another something she just does and regrets, she has practically said, adn literally said that dating scott jarret, adn dating taylor the first time where mistakes and seemed to regret it. She says she doesn't regret us, but i dunno. And i don't want to see tay as a mistake again, he damn well deserves not to be.
But overall i am happy. Got a good relationship, enjoying all my friends, getting a good new friendship with kim. Rekindling old one with Sooy, my deck is looking good and got Killers AIM, i want my phone back though, miss talking to the 8thys.
And i worry about my psp, i lent laura it. That could end badly. Laura, if your reading this, please, Be careful with her, i do so love her. And also, watch maria, she tried to assasinate her before! Don't let her succede! and also, if it dies you can use your bros charger~ I think~ It should work, dunno if you can get it from him. But if you can you can use that.
And also, i just thought of something. Maybe the reason she acted strange was a sorta rebelliousness in all people. The natural anger and rebelliousness we get when authority is challenged or we are bullied, or something. And i seemed to have threatened that which was her, causing a less sensible anger. Kinda like the jealousy i had when Zach had hit her... Hmm. Which makes sense. I mean the whole villian kinda thing is something i have seen a lot. And used. I mean i acted as the "villian" to make it seem as if all of taylor and whoras relationship was doomed, and that is how i got her to give him another month. Wow. Playing a villian is effective, screws you over, but i realize i have done that a few times, it works. hmm. I wonder what did happen though...me and tay be confused xD
And also. I think i have had like 2 or 3 more dreams about dresden this last week. Not to good xD And i had a dream where whitney like stole me and emily got jealous or mad, and had not wanted to give me up, and sadly i think there was something about oaths and promises (Dresden-esque) in there. But... Knowing me this dream ended with some form of yuri, that i would be involved in xD But yeh. I am on book 8 of 8 of dresden. out of 11. I skipped half of the first, but still. And i started re-reading like a week and a half ago. And waited 2 days for 7. And finished 7 in one day. Not cool xD
and new yugioh game next week. And i need new Pendragon, series finale. Yay.
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