Hrm. Storms in every sense be brewing...

Well. I just feel like...Something really dreadfully bad is coming up. And more hell is comin. I dunno. Hopefully it is just a feeling.

Growing a bit annoyed with how I am divided between cynical and hopeful views -_- Seriously mind. I understand that i need to stop being so serious whenever i entertain romance thoughts, need to stop searching solely for perfect person right off the back. That obviously ain't happening. and i know i need to stop focusing on a relationship now, it is probably pointless in the end, and more likely than no to end in high school. I need to stop getting worked up, and overdone about it all. I should enjoy my childhood with out trying to find the rest of my life, trying to grow up too fast, etc etc. And i know that most importantly i need to stop making the mistake Dresden makes too, and i need to be able to just enjoy something simply and casually... I know all this. I know it has validity, i know all these issues i am having, and all sorts of stuff...yet why am i finding myself going between yearning for it to hating it entirely. God. Why are emotions so damn confusing...

Bah, meant to not go into that. and leave it mulling about in my mind...Probably should delete...

Oh well.

But Meds are wearing off. Now getting introspective, saddening a bit, and tired adn grouchy.

But i am actually liking school this year. May be able to keep up and work with it all this year... I need to stop forgoing everything school for others. Need to buckle down and focus on this...

But ya know. I dunno. Gotta go with the flow of this. What happens happens. I cant let it get me down and break me...not anymore. I gotta be stronger and get past this. Better myself. I need to...

And one of the best quotes ever

"Relationships? Well Sigmund, relationships are so...fragile. It only takes one thing, one tiny little offense, and it can snowball on you. And if that snowball starts to pick up speed, god forbid, you better be ready to tuck and go my friend.

And bam! The shines off the apple. And thats when you find out that that pretty little girl you married isn't a pretty little girl at all. No, she's a man eater. And I'm not talking about the "whoa here she comes" kind of man eater, I'm talking about the kind that uses your dignity as a dish towel to wipe up any shreds of manhood that might be stuck inside the sink. But of course, I may have tormented her from time to time, but honest to God that's what I thought marriage was all about, so much so that by the end of that relationship, I honestly don't know who I hated more...her or me. I used to sit around and wonder why our friends weren't trying to destroy each other like we were. And there it turns out the answer's pretty simple. They weren't unhappy, we were.

Relationships don't work they way they do on television and in the movies. Will they? Won't they? And then they finally do, and they're happy forever. Gimme a break. Nine out of ten of them end because they weren't right for each other to begin with, and half of the ones who get married get divorced anyway, and I'm telling you right now, through all this stuff I have not become a cynic. I haven't. Yes, I do happen to believe that love is mainly about pushing chocolate covered candies and, y'know, in some cultures, a chicken. You can call me a sucker, I don't care, because I do believe in it. Bottom line: it's couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If it's right, and they're real lucky, one of them will say something."