AND WE ARE BACK IN BLACK

Or at least blog background is.

Yah know. I really think, something clicked. Sure, everything is goin to hell still...But still. I finally have some control. Especially over this. It is not for you. Or you. Or you or you or you. (please fill in names for yous) It is for no one but me. This is a memoir, a reminder, a log, a recording of who I am.

And ya know what. I am beginning to truly realize who I am. I really wish i did not have to lose so much to really begin to realize it all. I really do.

But that is life.

But I needed this little thing. And i am thankful. For all of you. You guys kick ass.

And normally i'd apologize to everyone again, but you all must be so damn sick of that.

Also, I really want to take some dance lessons, I dunno why. Seems like it would be fun.

Really does.

God. I wish stuff would stop happening...or that for more that happened to me less would happen to Lee, Alex, Ben, and everyone else...god I rather take more pain instead of them...

Odd...I've given up, yet hold so much hope...It is really odd. Guess i am taking solace in chaos. But dammit. God Dammit. I will get past all this stuff. I will change. I will become a better person. I will be who i should and want to. Dammit i will. Dammit I am.