Man I am retaining anger about this hacking. Well. Not hacking since its my idiocy that gave the pass out. I mean...I know Jess, whit and Em did nothing to it but still. Its not even just SMS updates like I've done...they actually got on. And worse I know beyond doubt it was Emily. She knew pass cause I told her in trust...and I don't know if I should feel anger or relief...

I mean...she still hates me it sometimes seems...and I still have no fucking idea what I feel....and it was just harmless fun....but doing something like that to someone you have a bad relationship with.....usually you jokingly do that to people you have good relationships with...

Im not making any sense.

And im trying to rationalize this as a chance that maybe everything is lightening up...

Why can't I handle the death of a friendship...

And why can't I decide if I am angry or not?

Part of me laughs at it... part is really fucking pissed...

Ugh. Why can people affect me so much.

Hell. Part is the daughter you have traained your self to assume innocent is involved with the Tirol you are confused about.

God damn this is complex for no reason...

And I need to stop arguiniing with people I know. Or doing even stupid little jokes... irony. The hidden reason you felt upset when Emily called you out was how she said it. Asshat. The term you rarely see anyone else's use...that you have as your joking internet hero persona. Asshatter.

Hah. So funny there