Lack of title, don't take it too hard, somethin. Dunno, fail title.

Let me get one thing straight. Alex. I was, and still am slightly pissed, but i really don't blame you, and i am not gonna let this ruin our whole fuckign friendship. If it is gonna get ruined, that is up to you. But i still love you, and don't think for one second i would let one SMALL mistake ruin everything.

Emily. I realized this most deeply last night, so sorry for not opening up. But in all honesty i never realize this crap till i am typin. And half of what i type is just an outlet to get it out of me. And i just had an old spot hit, and the old stuff, i really just don't talk about with anyone, since i have almost gotten past it all. A lot of it is thanks to you. I love you, a lot, and you have helped me so much with everything. Thank you.

Bren...Well. I have nothing to say to you. Everything i said. You fucking deserved it. You deserved every word, every bit of sadness any normal human would feel. But like hell you feel it i bet. Heh. Kinda ironic. Early on me and alex have been struggling to come to terms with our humanity, and now at least we can admit we feel. At least we can talk about how we feel, but what about you? No one around here knows you at all. You are just a small little machine, hell, cleverbot is easier to talk to, learn about, and half the time show personality. Heh. I feel a little bad for alex and emily. But for you, i feel no compassion. I have had this same scene play out so often, guess what, you are the one actor in these scenes that never changes, and gets lost. Good luck with life, you will need it.

And Katzy, well. Actually. Thanks. Haha. I don't blame you for most anythin, not talkin to me often, or anything like that. I won't lie and say we are the godliest friends ever, but you are fun to talk to, and a good friend. And you can always make me smile. Haha.

But to everyone. I refuse to apologize. Bren deserved everythign i said. Alex, i was a jackass, but it needed to be said so we can stay friends and keep on growing as friends, if we left all these issues alone it will end badly, i have seen it happen. And to everyone, i did direct a lot of stuff at you, and some was in anger, but it was all stuff i deserve to say. Because i will not change for anyone, will not bend for anyone. Heh. I did this for Bren, for Clint, for laura, for scott, hell. I won't go down that road again. And everything i said i was in the right to say. I won't say not to take it personally, though some should not, but don't think any of that applys just to alex, or just to em, or ben, or Whit, because it all has applied to everyone i know. And it is who i am. And i won't change for others. I was born alone, will die alone, and cherish the connections with others, but in the end i am with me, shaping me, building me, so i wont change myself for others. I love you all (bren exception) though, in a non-romantic way (Emily exception), and i do hope i did not cause too much pain. But i deserve to have said all i did. And only one who should be really hurt and take it all incredibly personally is Bren. The rest of you, just don't try and ruin my values, and shrug the rest off as mostly angry rant.

And in other news, i felt really crappy today >.> Need to catch up on sleep and food xD school will be a bitch catching up...

And in other news working on christmas gifts today~ Someone give me whitneys shirt size...

And i need to get Oh Well, Two Hears Beat, I won't Apologize, LDN, Smiles, and Bourgeois Shangri-la as mp3s....

also, a day late but.... HAPPY JAPAN RELEASE OF FFXIII *parties*

Or it is in two days... FALSE ALARM