I've got a lot to say. Honestly. But won't say too much.

Bren. I will address you first. So i can keep the balls to do this. Since i refuse to be a coward. Okay. I don't know if you even read this. But here. I still love you, you still have my interest, even if i despise you at this moment. A lot. But I refuse to take back anything i said. I refuse to pretend i was wrong. Because if you have a sense of logic, you will know i had a right to say it. But here. I will leave this to you, because we know i would try to fix all this shit if i had any shred of possiblity. But if you want to keep our friendship, in any way, hell, any friendship with any of us, here is the simple way. Something we would all adhere to with ease. Just talk to us. Nothing big. It is quite easy. Talk as if none of this happened. Just be our friend again. We can act as if it didn't. Who cares. But if you want to be our friend do it. And even if you don't want to be with alex, or you don't want any closeness like you and i had, don't try for that, but stay our friend. And God damnit. I know, i know that you still feel for alex in someway, and emily, and the others, at least as friends, your showing subtle signs i know how to pick up, even if you and others don't. So be their friend. Please. I don't care if you be a bitch to me, treat me like shit, because i know you hate me, even if you don't realize it, i will take that, but don't torture the others and yourself. They all want to be your friend, and you want to be theirs. And if the cost is me giving up the friendship i once had, so be it.

To whitney: I could tell you a lot, cause dear god, i have talked about that so much over the years. But i will be short and sweet. You know how i feel, you know you can always come to me.

To myself:

God...Today i realized how bad i have it for emily...When did i start trying to make taylor move so i can sit by the girl, rather than him make me? When did it go that i was actually sad, and hating being somewhere, when i thought the girl was not going to be there. God. When emily and the band people came to the show...I felt great seeing her. What happened to me... Heh. I am so whipped...

And i realized something today. Which i forgot. Oops. It was some big introspective thing...hehe >.>

Uhm. I super wrapped emily's gift. whole wrapping paper tube, then i super taped >.>

And dear god. New reborn chapter is sexy. Though Ghost...PUT CLOTHES ON MAN.