Man, for once i may do this shit right. OR i will do it wrong...but hell i am goin to do this without regrets.

Alex, you amazingly don't have to worry about me. No one for this matter...and if you do, this time I am not letting that stupid pride get to me. Something clicked in me. And i really grew sick of how i usually would act. I refuse to do that.

I know what i want. Where i stand. I know that even if this is how it is, and even if i still love her, I rather have her as a friend than nothing.

I won't become the monster i was last year or so ago, i won't do what i did to laura.

And Laura, god, i know i have said this before...but Sorry. Truly. I was a horrible person, and still despise everything i did. I know, i can't fix it, and that these words are fruitless and can't do much...but i feel that taking that advice you gave me before, and other times will count as showing what i mean through actions. Also, thanks, you are one of the few who even while close to me would get fully on my case, and call me out on everything. And if you didn't say what needed to be said i would be horrible. I would still be that Clint wannabe, that mini monster i tried to be. So Thanks.

Emily, thanks too. You saved my life, helped me through a ton, and put up with my stupidity. And i never did say it back, but no matter what we are still best friends.

And to everyone. Thanks. You all are amazing. And some of the few who i feel comfortable and trustin with.

But guys, don't worry bout me too much? K? For once i am living by what i say, playing this smart. I am not gonna let it take me and make me depressed and just hurt other people. I will wait, i will play this smart. Maybe it will end bad, maybe it will end good. If not, well, maybe i will find my Autumn. I won't deny, i am sad, confused, all that stuff, but more than that, i am happy. If i let the other stuff get to me nothing good will happen. But damn, i know i have lots of good going on, and i know i complain when everyone focuses on the one thing ignoring the good. So i won't complain and let my life go to hell. I have great friends, i am doin good on stuff, i have multiple books, and get to use my dads ipod for exam week. Also for once I am refusing to let pride be my bane, i am gonna talk to you guys if i need help. So don't feel hurt for me, don't feel sorry, give me your pity or anything of the sort.

So yeh. That is all really. And stuff. Oh, whenever i listen to misguided ghosts i think of pacman...