Cue manic depressive episode. Or is this slow down? Realization of what I will never have.

God. I love Taryn and Nick. They have such a beauty to them, a perfection from difference and such an amazing love...almost makes me believe in fairy tale romances.

Man. Taryn is one of those one in a million, maybe hundred million, people you meet. Sh is so utterly full of life, so overwhelmingly joyous and powerful, she has so much presence and vitality you can't help but feel some joy. She has such a strong will and unueilding personality while being the kindest person ever. God. I lover. She is one of the most influential people I met, in such subtle ways. This makes me miss her a ton...man. Its so great seeing her again.

But it is so sad. Never ceases to be that I don't quite fit in. I am having fun with everyone...but Rachel and Laura who I am closest too I feel most awkward with. Dammit.

God, great that john is here.

But I'm still sitting here. Alone. Blogging. Wanting to cry...oh wow radio. Douche move. "No one wants to be alone" thanks for hitting where it hurts. Thanks.