Man. Almost a year...dammit a whole fucking year. I hate how much I messed up. God dammit. Is it wrong I still yearn for the friendship I can't have so vicariously? Am I even allowed to shed tears over what I lost because of my fault? Or to accept blame and still never attempt to defend self? God I'm a moron. Man...no amount of. Apologies self inflicted pain or penance, sorrow, or guilt will make it right...God. I never had this true of a loss...and it hurts. Dammit. Its been a yearbook. I should get over it but can't. One long year...


What else was I gonna say...suddenly got sleepy...

Night.

Best of luck. Enjoy everything.

Happy star wars day. May the 4th be with you.

Dammit.

Also. Funny, master description of a person with depression is me last 4 or so years. So funny. Hilarious really.

And dammit...apathy and dissociation is becoming a second hand defense....damn....