aha, you know, that is exactly it. What I was missing. I am pissed, I was bullshitting myself. It is not guilt i feel, no it is, but not over what i thought. And it is not all the different things i feel. Its rage. Hate. I dont care for you, you annoy me, honestly you are a hypocrite and piss me off. That is it. I dont care anymore, beyond the small bit i never can get rid of.
And you know, it is true, history repeats, a lot. Funny funny.
But you know, I can see full well whats going to happen, and it wont take long. I know what it will be and I find it amusing at how obvious it seems.
Oh man I am in a sadist mood.
But God, even driving I feel a bit confident on, with practice soon ill get better. Its like magic.
Or anything like it.
And really thinking I will ask Laura out. Ya know. Always better taking the risk.
Hahaha. Sense of self, sense of concept. Interesting interesting.
You know. In the end Laura probably has forever been my perfect person.
And you know. I wanna try weed. Its so...lacking in any real issue. Why is it bad?
Drinking im still iffy on.
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