Odd odd odd.

So from my day and a half numbing depression i got into a writing mood, but i broke out of the depression quick, yet the writing mood stayed. Doing Poetry in class did not help kill it. But now i am working on an epic, its actually going really well. And did a not shitty love poem, and a not shitty happy one, and decent random one. Oh, then i was doing one that had an idea of angels coming to earth, salvation, etc...it became about the end of the world. But it was kick ass >.>

I also realize i subconsciously direct my controlling manipulative, evil part of myself into relationships on making them do good/my amusement. Like Ben and Kasha, that was me being manipulative for my amusement, and still is at times. It also helps them too. And now Rachel and Taylor, instead of having him ask her out i am making him let her ask him out. Now in the end this ups her courage, makes them work better, etc. but it also gives me amusement and lets me use this as if i am a puppet master. Plus rachel will dress up in a skirt nad other stuff to be as sexy as possible when she does it, AKA Elizabeth-gets-blackmail 8D

And uhm. Still obsessed with Us by Regina Spektor.

Been unable to memorize or remember things... not good since that is what lots of classes are at the moment...

Been getting closer to ben recently. God. I love that guy. I won't lie, he is on top with Whit and Em and Alex, in some aspects he beats all of them, i mean i love them and trust them and all, but god out of all the years, he has stuck by me the last 5, 6, maybe 7 years....and after losing so many friends, clint, scott, laura, andrew, etc. ...well that just really means a shitload to me.

Uhm. I had something to say...But i forgot...

Been pretty happy, all those rough spots where sorta fixed and sorted out. Still exist, but all is trying to be fixed.

Oh. Funny. Relationship hell week is Ben:9001 everyone else: 0. Everyones relationship, or thoughts on it, or acts about it have been going to hell except him.

And i stole from him while he was gripping it. I beat his power.

Yes. Be scared. Me and Him are hacking life.