why oh why cant the computer life be real?

ugh. relationship is more awkward than when we began, and has been so since sugoi. but only in rreal life. in real life relationships and feelings for friends are being bsed and nothing like true feelings you see online. god. i am feeling pathetic, joke insults, joking ignoring...i keep feeling seriously hateful, seriously pissed, seriously abandoned and crappy. oh. and i am going into game retreat where i ignore everyone for defense because my optimism, my strength, and my will have all faded. and old weakness has come. ughhh. *headdesk* bitchy mom+stupid football party+exams= horrible bday week... at least mlk has my back...