I am really annoyed now. Wow. Go fuck yourselves people. Really. Glad i put this on private. Even if it will probably go public later. But you know, I dont give a fuck. I still dont know who the fuck reads this. And frankly I dont care.

God I want out. Now. One year. And I can meet new people. I can escape this place, i can make new friends, I can leave the ones I already seem done with, all that. And you know, I dont give a damn if you all think this is cruel. Or "You should keep fighting" and all that, guess what, I've fucking fought a good bit, and how well has that worked? It hasnt? Well you know, if you all who i fought for made it obvious you still hate me, and still dont want me in your life. Fucking fine. Why should I hurt myself more and more with a false hope that you made clear i cant reach and i cant obtain, and keep hurting by trying. You cut all ties with me to let yourselves be happy it seems, I am gonna do the same damn thing. And yeah, i know, so cruel of me wanting to be away from some of these people, nad be done with them. But who gives, not like they care about me too much more, and not like they try much to do anything with me eh? I have to start anything, even Kasha doesnt text anymore unless I do. And if people text its because they want something. I mean hell, Emily hated me and still texted only cause she needed a damn book early school year. And last time Taylors texted me? Because he wanted my minecraft pass -_- Actually, the only time quite literally about 8 different people have texted me in last 4 months was because they wanted to use my fucking minecraft account to play. Those fucking bastards. That is all I seem to be, and after words i am nothing, well fuck you all. I shouuld change the damn pass and not let any of you god damn bastards have it.

God. Arent we human hilarious, so petty, yet so deep at times. We spend years correcting all these problems and prejudices and yet we just shove the same exact prejudices nad problems on another damn group -_-

I really cant wait till I can leave everyone.

I cant wait till I forget about the damn yearning for romance.

I cant wait till I stop caring about those who seem to have stopped caring about me.

I cant wait till I stop hating myself...

God...stop coming tears... I refuse to fucking cry...

I mean...I guess I have no right to cry....I do this to myself...

Maybe my only use is to be used by people...

It does at least keep me in contact with people...

Is being used and demeaned better than being alone....