Its so strange...its like talking as a stranger....you know who your talking to...But who am I....I sicken myself while feeling nothing....at least my body knows to feel upset. I just...why can I not feel this...hate....rage...sorrow...love...am I so afraid of myself and others I give up altogether? Yeah. Sounds bout right. Pathetic. Utterly pathetic.. ironically I feel like throwing up too. Irony is grand. At least I am in perfect test taking situation...

Guess this week is good time for everything. Aka no time for everything. Except with Laura, and I figure things will go to hell there too by morrows end. Sounds bout right