Life is funny like that, confirm what ya know, or make it seem likelier, but ya know, thinking about this...do I even care that much, or do I just feel so left out that I need to try for someone? Or is it that I think we'd be so great, even though I know pen and paper theory never matches fact? Do I just need a goal? Or is it that I fall for same 4 people always. Guess it is obvious that I don't care as much as I want to, I want to care more than I do. Getting told probably noon chance, and realizing it...didn't hurt as much as it should. I really have no experience with this. I mean...me and Jess agreed to date, me and Laura talked about it for two weeks before I asked, bit not much of anything there, no challenge, risk. Or awkwardness. Don't think I technically asked. Except after she broken up first week. And w got back together. Then Emily technically asked me out...have I ever asked someone out?

But oh well. I guess I'm gonna forget about it. But man...my mind keeps drifting to her
Guess I fell more than I want to admit, or I'm not as happy being alone as I say. Guess people are not.meant to.be alone. Man... this shit annoys me. Need a pattern or formula.

Or I needmy friends back, need to admit now I feel. Admit I know it will be no so I can mope five minutes and move on...who knows. Tired. Sleep now