That small pair of flowers sitting in the desolate waste, beauty shining upon that radiant space, look hard enough and one can see, how much they mean to you and me. God. It is just like the end of Summer. "I've seen you at the park." "Really, I never saw you.." "Maybe you where just not looking hard enough." I've gotta stop being so damn narrow sighted. Gotta start remembering myself.
Then it is like the claw machine. Hell. I gotta stop being such a wimpy quitter for fear of issue. I mean hell, i cant give anna fossils i collect for her out of what? Fear? I dont even know why it is so hard. But all this pathetic random fears, issues, etc. I gotta stop letting them control me and stand up, swallow pride, swallow all of it, ask for help, get help, do something to solve it all. I never gave up on trying to win the claw, or a yugioh game, and i eventually succeded. I never let hope, fear, or anything of the sort control me, but instead let it fuel me. God i need to play life like a game.
but i have so much. I have all i need. Even if life is hard I have so many to support me, and so much worth it.
And i have to remember what simply the core drill i choose to always wear now symbolizes personally to me. A chance. At redemption, at hope succeding, at life, at happiness, at anything. It is my reminder to always fight. Yet why do i try to forget it.
Yeah. Some things still hurt. Some stuff seems wildly unfair and cheated, but who gives a damn. Okay, I do. and i honestly should. But i cant let the feelings control me. Oh i fail at a game? Learn from it. I fail with trying to tell someone to stop cheating, comee up with better way. Accidently go to far on a joke, apologize and learn. Fail at romance, just stand up and do better later. Fail a test, make sure to not let the sour mood make me fail more, and rather than think i cant do any, try harder...
Dammit i am getting past this. I will probably get depressed again soon. But nowadays the good moments are outweighing the bad and more common. And I will be damned if anyone takes that from me.
Also i firmly believe that the whole patron god thing that can apply to individuals, like based on their talents and skills, if it is real applys very much to me. With the Green Aliens from Toy Story. I won a Minion from a claw <3
No, not the UFO catcher at the regal though. Those things are fucking evil. How do japanese win from them?!?! The standard is 2 claws only?!?! Japanese are not human!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment