stop it

Stop stop stop stop. God damn. I don't want looks of pity. I don't want to be stared at with looks of depression, of sadness, guilt, sorrow, or whatever the hell is going on in your mind. I don't want any pity, if you are gonna just pity me, then don't. If you want to sympathize, you don't have to give me a look of sympathy that looks like you are about to off yourself. You can smile. And Honestly, even if i am being mopey, giving me that mopey look wont help. Give me a smile, talk to me, break past that little shell, get me to laugh, you can do it. You have. And do you always have to stare at me like...like nothing is there, like its a horrible thing, everything is gone? Give me a smile. God. I rather see happiness. And don't hide romance because "oh hey he is hurt and cynical", i dont need babied, need my ass kicked, and frankly, i rather see you smiling and happy than awkward and hiding.

And yeah. This is not a single person. This is in general. To everyone. And yes. I find directing all things i have issues with pertaining to lotsa of people towards a single fake person to be much easier.

Hrm. Really likin Anna, she is a fellow lover of Sweet Canadian Mullet sobe cap, was both our first. And she is rather fun.

And also...You stop it. Stop yourself. Why are you just dwelling? So you lost something, so you lost again, and hell again. If it happens then why dwell? You have had great times, and face it. They are gone. You need to let them be, stop just hoping so hard, you know it is a false hope, why do you keep doing it? The sad thing is that is not even why i am so disgusted with you...When did you become a quitter. So she doesn't like you, and so you seem to actually have developed a crush sometime recently, since when would that matter? You worked Laura for two freaking years to try and get her to reciprocate that crush. God blessed. You've actually become so impatient now. But god, if there is anything you have learned from games it should be simple to answer the cardinal rule, the biggest cliche: Dont. Give. Up. How often has everything changed with one moment, when you realized something, someone else failed to, or just got a bit of luck? You know it has happened a lot. Just stop quitting, try harder, sometimes the cards aren't in your favor, but you've gotten a lot of good because you tried past that until they where. Not one good friendship or romance lasted because you moved on quick when things seemed bad. Hell. Especially not romance, you had good luck there because instead of skipping onto next person when things seemed bad you tried to make it better and stuck through...

Stop dwelling. Get over yourself. Stop with the overactive hopes. Stop quitting. You can do this. God damn you can and will.