is isn't was is...so much damn trouble...and no matter what i am not happy...I have everything i want but still am not happy and seems that is not what i want...Then soon it seems like everything everywhere is crashing again...Ugh..
What do i want? What the hell am i doing...
Heh. Fuck me. God damn. I am annoying even myself. Guess it must be even worse to everyone else. Maybe that is why everything goes to hell and back within a day so easily...Everyone just gets sick of me...Guess that makes sense...
I hate this...Heh, i feel cheated with this...and that is about all i can feel...
Screw this all...Maybe i really should quit trying on everything...But i wont...i want to somehow make everything right...just keep my friends...
Fuck me...guess it always comes back to that phrase. Fuck me. That is what i keep thinking to myself...
God dman i am pathetic...
I guess i will just escape to FF14 in my escapist fashion...let petty pride pretend i am fine even when i just voiced it...
But i guess i just hurt people nad myself in games...cant do or go anywhere without ruining someones fun...being an ass...i hate myself...
And it seems no one who wanted to play will get it soon/wants to play anymore...
Fuck me...
Oh well. Time to escape soon...
I'm sorry. Truly sorry. For everything i've done, everything i pathetically inevitably will do...For myself, for all this shit...for being unable to fully let go of the past...everything...I am sorry. I really am...
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