sooooo

Lemme see. Wrote a good ol depressin blog. Basically the sum of what yesterdays blog-i-had-no-time-to-post was that i figured out the reason this is so damn hard to get past is this: It is not others causing it, or something i did to others, etc. It is all the faults, fears, complexs, and everything from my past that i had and never faced. I pushed them away. I ignored best i could. And now it is trying to consume me...But i will get past it...I will get over them. Lose it all. Or control it. I wont let myself disappear...

Please god. Please friends, please world, please deity's, fate, or anything else....Let me be strong enough to get past this.

Please oh please...

Urgh. I need to stop letting false vain hopes override reason...I knew exactly the answer. Why did i look to false data sets to interpret them as something they where not? I looked at rational rules and tried applying them to irrationals...

God. Why can't emotions make as much sense as numbers? God damn...

Found a picture of leland and shawn combined. It is amazing.

Uhm. Cursing my wierd awkwardness everywhere. In Sociology i did not even go to Laura and Maria for the group project, i felt awkward until Laura invited me over...Whihc made me feel a lot better...But god. I get my awkwardness in classes i barely know people. But there is someplace where i was with two of my best friends whom i have no reason to get like that with, so why was i feeling awkward and unwanted? Stupid confusing emotions.

Uhm. May actually go to homecoming. Since enough have badgered, and me adn shawn plan on having matching suits, fedora's and lightsabers xD

Me laura and Ria and girl whose name i dont know all workin on a project about breaking social norms cant end well. xD

Guess that is all.